Adieu to the Zoo
by GrowlyNoir
Summary: The Zoo is closing. Howard, Naboo & Bollo all want to keep the exotic Noir, who is coming of age. Discovering he has "gifts" Vince tries to show Howard his heart. The Moon resists. - Comfort/love/friendship/angst. Innocent Howince.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**

Dedicated to Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, Mike Fielding & Dave Brown who bring such joy to the universe.

This is my first piece of fan fiction and I hope you enjoy. Reviews welcome.

Howling Heart

The sound that emerged from Vince Noir's throat was primal. It made the hairs on everyone's neck stand up. It was the cry of a mature wolf on a mountain top. Before anyone could speak or grab, Vince was on the run, still howling. The few remaining animals answered him in sympathy.

There was only one friend he needed. Bollo tore the cage door off its hinges and seconds later was hit at full force by the slender form of his despairing, precious child_. _Making soothing grunts, Bollo enfolded Vince in his arms. The young zookeeper whimpered, burying his head in the well groomed, thick fur.

_Later_

"Hell, Vince. You're supposed to be a professional," scolded Howard.

When Vince did not look at him, the Northerner sighed.

"Tea?"

"Yeah," mumbled Vince.

He sat up and miserably ran his hands through his hair.

Minutes later, tea, well sweetened with sugar, landed in front of him. Vince sipped with little enthusiasm, not saying a word. Howard, with a black tea, no sugar, took the other chair.

"You're a man, Vince. Not a monkey."

"A gorilla is an ape," Vince growled.

"I know. The point is... you're a man. You can survive in a different environment. There's life out there beyond the zoo."

"Not for us, Howard."

"What happened to your dream of becoming a rock star?"

"Nearly got us killed."

"Well, I'm not going to sit here and despair. I'm Howard Moon."

"Unfortunately."

The unexpected cruelty of the remark stunned Howard, but he shook off the hurt.

"Any more comments like that and I'll come at you like a barrel full of monkeys."

Vince stayed silent. He slowly got up, grabbed his sleeping bag and walked out of the hut.

"That's not how our arguments are supposed to go," muttered Howard.

He ran after Vince and gripped his arm, halting his usually bright eyed apprentice.

"I'm sorry, little man. Come back inside."

Vince gave a weak smile.

"I'm sorry, Howard. I didn't mean... I feel bad inside. Like I'm not me."

Howard steered Vince back to the table and sat him down. He patted his friend awkwardly on the shoulder.

"You're depressed, Vince. All your laughter and sunshine has died. But don't worry. I know you. Give it a day or so and you'll be back."

Vince pulled a mirror out of his pocket and gazed into it. His frown deepened.

"You're right, Howard."

"I am?"

"The zoo do is... brown. Brown and boring. It's time for a change."

"You're you alright. What kind of a change?"

"Black is always in fashion and it matches my mood."

"And your name. Noir means black."

Sparkle returned to Vince's eyes and his old grin stretched across his face.

"Thanks, Howard. All I need is the right style and it'll be genius!"

Vince set down the mirror and turned his grin on to Howard.

"You and me. We're a team, yeah?"

"Yes, Vince. We still have a lot to discuss."

"Like what?"

"Where we're going to live. Whether to resume our studies."

Vince yawned.

"It is important, little man, but you've had a rough day. It's time to sleep."

"Night, Howard."

"Good night, Vince."


	2. Chapter 2

The Enigma

_He's like Sleeping Beauty, _envied Howard. He smiled fondly for a moment, before reaching out to touch his friend's morning scruff.

"Don't grab. Oh, it's you, Howard."

"Get up, Vince."

"Good morning to you too, freak."

"Just get dressed. And zip your lip."

When Vince had finished ministering to his hair and making fashionable alterations to his uniform, all under the hawk-like, disapproving gaze of Howard, both men were surprised by a knock at the door.

"Can't be Fossil then," Howard remarked.

He opened the door to find Naboo there with his usual blank expression.

"Naboo?"

"Howard," the little shaman acknowledged, before saying with calm authority,

"I'd like a word with Vincent... alone."

Howard glanced at Vince who was suddenly staring at the floor, trembling slightly and biting his lip.

"_If he had a tail, it would be right between his legs," _sympathised the senior keeper.

With a nod to Naboo, Howard stepped outside, but busied himself around the hut.

"Sit down, Vince," ordered the Enigma.

Vince sat ramrod straight on the sofa, feet together, hands clasped tight. His startling blue eyes were wide as a bush baby's. Naboo stood in front of him, arms folded, eyes boring into Vince's soul.

"Vincent..."

Vince grinned by force of habit, then let it fade. The silence seemed to last for hours.

"Naboolio?"

"I expected to see you last night."

"I... had a lecture from Howard. He insisted I stay in the hut."

"Well... I won't turn my back on you."

"Thanks, Naboo."

"... But we still have things to discuss."

A stubborn look appeared in Vince's eyes.

"Naboolio, I love you and all but... I'm not going anywhere withoutHoward."

Naboo smiled for a second.

"He'll have to pay rent."

"Rent?"

As Vince's solitary brain cell slowly processed this unexpected response, he reached absently upwards, playing with his hair. He crossed one leg over the other, relaxed the rest of his body and grinned infectiously.

"Rent? You mean a house? For all of us? You... me... Bollo... Howard. New house. New hair. Imagine that."

"Yes," Naboo confirmed. "You and Howard can share a room. Bollo and I can share another. But it's a flat, Vince."

"Well, it's still better than the hut and Bollo won't have to live in a cage anymore." Vince's grin vanished. He rejoined his hands. He straightened his legs. "I... saw him... last night."

Naboo's lips twitched as Vince began to babble.

"Yeah... I saw Bollo and we hugged and I asked to sleep with him, only he said he might roll over and crush me, so I went back here and Howard was waiting to lecture me. I'm sorry, Naboolio. I should have come to you, but... I knew he'd be waiting and I... wanted to get it over with."

Naboo eyed Vince shrewdly.

"I'll bet you weren't posed like that for Howard."

Vince blushed slightly.

"Well... no... but he doesn't call me Vi.."

"Vincent? Maybe I should give him that tip."

"Don't." Vince shuddered. "What I mean is... Howard's my best mate, but you... and Bollo... You're family!"

Naboo gave him a definite smile.

"Yes, Vince. You're more trouble than Tony, Kirk and Saboo, but my life would be... very empty without you."

Vince beamed like the sun, but Naboo became serious again. He patted Vince on the knee.

"I know how much the zoo means to you, but do try and control your wildness, yeah?"

Vince nodded, then looked hopefully at Naboo.

"The animals. Couldn't we take some?"

"No," said Naboo firmly. "There's a strict No Petsrule."

"Okay," sighed Vince.

"But you'll have the people who care about you and you will make new friends."

Vince brightened again. "Thank you, Naboo."

"You're welcome. Now let's get on with our work."

Vince leapt instantly to his feet, hugging Naboo briefly. The shaman carefully reconstructed his calm, before gliding out of the hut. Vince followed after checking his hair was correct.


	3. Chapter 3

The Monkey King

When Naboo was out of sight, Howard seized Vince by the arm and hauled him off to the primate enclosures.

"You've bounced back. What did Naboo say?" Howard demanded.

"He gave me a telling off," Vince answered, not quite meeting his friend's gaze. "But then he..."

At that moment, Vince was distracted by several small monkeys who flung themselves all over him in joyous greeting. There were two in his arms, two on his shoulders and one on his head. Others clung to his legs and back.

Vince laughed and chattered to them in monkey talk, while Howard grumpily fetched a bucket of fruit.

"Hey, Mowgli," Howard cautioned. You're only making it harder for yourself."

"But I'm the Monkey King!"

Rolling his eyes, Howard rattled the bucket. The monkeys ignored him, staying firmly attached to Vince.

"Get down now, my lovelies. Time to eat."

Vince's subjects obeyed and Howard tossed some fruit. The monkeys eyed it with disdain, then turned their attention back to Vince. Howard muttered under his breath before thrusting the bucket at his amused companion.

The Monkey King knelt down and offered the slices on his palm.

"One at a time. No fighting," he said sternly.

Howard scowled as the monkeys formed a queue and received a titbit each. Vince threw the remainder and left the enclosure, eyes glistening.

When Howard caught up, Vince was in the arms of Bollo. The gorilla released his childso he could throw a banana skin at the unwelcome guest. Howard retreated a little, but remained within listening distance.

"Naboo didn't turn his back on me," Vince continued.

"Good," rumbled Bollo.

"But he did tell me off."

"And then what?" Howard yelled in frustration. "You came out grinning like the Cheshire Cat."

Vince and Bollo eyed him reproachfully.

"Cool your boots!"

"Harold, no interrupt,"

"It's Howard," the maverick sighed.

"Quiet or Bollo thump."

"Hey, play nice," scolded Vince. "If we're all going to live together..."

"Even Harold?"

"Even Howard."

"Whoa there, little man!"

As Howard made a grab for Vince, the gorilla roared and shoved Howard hard, knocking him over. Then in a single, swift movement, Vince was over Bollo's shoulder.

"Vince mine!"

"Er... Bollo... what you doing?" asked Vince.

Howard got to his feet and looked sternly at Bollo.

"Alright, Kong. Vince doesn't want either of us to get hurt. Put him down. Now**.**"

"No."

"Please, Bollo," wheedled Vince.

"Stay out, you," his captor growled.

"Put me down and I'll tell you all about my hair plans."

Bollo obeyed at once.

"Thanks."

Howard rolled his eyes. Vince took a step towards his best friend, but Bollo gave a warning grunt.

"Er... perhaps you better get out of here, Howard."

"I'll seeyou later, little man."

_Get Naboo,_ Vince mouthed, before turning back to Bollo. "I'm going to dye it black like my name, Noir. Howard told me... Bollo, don't look at me like that. Listen. I'll groom your fur. Deal with the split ends. I just need to get... Bollo?"

The gorilla very gently replaced Vince over his shoulder.

"Bollo, you silly ape, what's got into you?"

"Just be quiet, Vince."

"I've got other animals to see. And Howard can't..."

"I can put you on knee."

"No, don't do that."

"Then, shush."

Vince closed his eyes in resignation. _This is already embarrassing. I just hope Howard and Naboo get here soon. Bollo won't hurt me, but he's in a most peculiar mood. I daren't push him further._


	4. Chapter 4

Needing Vince

Howard, arms tightly folded, glared down at the tiny shaman; who was reclining on a pile of cushions in his receiving area. Naboo neither flinched nor blinked.

"Whydoes Vince think we're all going to live together?"

"Because we are," replied Naboo mildly.

"No," Howard snapped. "I'm taking Vince. And Bollo will be transferred to another zoo. Youcan go and fool people wherever you like."

Naboo just looked enigmatic.

"You have no idea."

Howard took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten.

"Vince is special," Naboo explained.

"As in imbecile."

"He's a Noir. He's very rare. Precious. And soon... he'll... change."

Howard raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"Innocence lost. Puberty."

"What?"

"A teenage Noir. He'll be testing boundaries, discovering adult pleasures, being surly. He won't be so... submissive anymore. You'll get more come backs than you can deal with. Howard, you need Bollo and myself as much as you need him."

"I don't need anyone, Sir! Especially not that fleabag of an ape. I've been taking care of Vince since primary school. He needs me, Howard Moon. I'm the one who makes sure he eats!"

"You," said Naboo softly. "Are Vince's chosen one. I can't change that. But tell me the truth. You need him more."

Howard deflated like a balloon.

"Vince... remembers who I am. Without him I... doubt my own existence."

Naboo nodded.

"It's not easy being you."

Howard chose to ignore this and asked,

"What about you, Naboo?"

"Me?"

"Why do you need Vince?"

"That... is private."

"That's not fair."

Naboo stood up and folded his arms too.

"You don't have a choice, Howard. You're his opposite. The yin to his yang. But where Vince goes, Bollo and I must go too. We're like his... personal security. It's not ideal, but we'll just have to put up with you. For Vince."

Going a shade of white, Howard stormed out and resumed his chores, swearing violently under his breath.

Naboo set up his hookah.

"Saboo has never forgiven me for beating him to Vincent. Still, he's got his hands full with Tony Harrison."

He glanced into his cup of tea leaves which read, _Bollo got Vince__**.**_

Naboo smiled.

"I'm quite sure Vince can handle this himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note**

Just to clarify the formatting for Vince's internal conversations: -

Vince - _italic_ (no speech marks) / Brain Cell -_** ita****lic**_ (single speech marks)

Confrontation

'**_Vince_**_..._**_Vince_**_..._**_Vince_**_..._' nagged his Brain Cell. '_**They're not coming**. **You have to deal with Bollo yourself**_._'_

_How? He's a gorilla. I don't want to make him madder than he already is._

'_**He**_'_**s Bollo**. **He**_'_**s putty in your hands**_.'

_Not in this mood._

'_**Tell him to stop it**._'

Vince opened his eyes and said petulantly, "Bollo, I like Howard. Get over it!"

Bollo growled; then true to his word, he laid Vince over his lap.

"What are you doing?" Vince protested. "I'm not a child!"

The gorilla only grunted and placed a palm upon his captive's buttocks.

_What in hell am I supposed to do now?_

'_**Challenge him**, **Vince**_.'

_I can't do that_.

'_**Yes**, **you can**. **Remember you**'**re** **a prince**_.'

"You... big... hairy... bully. I dare you."

Bollo removed his paw.

"You know I wouldn't, Vince," he said, hurt.

Vince scrambled to his feet and put his hands on his hips.

"Then don't position me like that, you daft beast."

"Sorry, Vince."

Bollo sounded so crestfallen that Vince wished he could take the words back.

"So can I go now?" he asked instead.

"Yes."

Vince left the enclosure, without looking back.

_What has got into me? Am I sick? I'm never mean to Bollo. Never._

'_**But he was keeping you a prisoner**_.'

_Shut up._

'_**I**'**m** **you**, **Vince**._'

_I'm not listening. You're not me. Go away._

'_**That**_'**_s not possible_**_.'_

_OFF!_

With his brain placed firmly on hold, Vince was able to nod amiably at the other keepers he ran into. He was surprised and a little disappointed when Mrs Gideon did not try to touch his hair as usual. She carefully avoided his eyes, as the rest had done, and hurried away. Vince checked in the mirror and found nothing amiss.

_Well that proves it. I DO need a new style._

Vince called in at all the enclosures that Howard would have visited and was warmly greeted. The smaller animals leapt into his arms; the larger put their paws on his shoulders and licked his face. They all let him stroke their coats, sensing his mood.

"We love you. We missed you. Small Eyes is scary. Why are you sad? Can we help? You're our pack brother."

"Thank you, my friends. I love you too. Yes, he is scary, but he doesn't mean to be. I'm sorry. I was... in a fight. I lost and I had to be on my back for a while. Then I won the fight and it felt... very bad. There's something happening and I don't know what."

They sniffed him carefully.

"You're coming of age. That's why you're fighting. It's nature's way."

Vince did not understand, but he thanked them.

"And be careful of Small Eyes," they warned. "He's gone rabid."

"Yeah, he might be a bit upset with me, but I can bring him round. I always can."

Vince discovered his friend outside the tool storage hut. He smiled disarmingly.

"Hey, Howard..."

"VINCE!"

Howard's eyes were almost invisible. A bad sign. Vince quickly arranged himself into his best submissive pose.

"Answer me or I'll come at you like the plagues of Egypt."

"What's the matter?"

Howard gripped his underling by the collar.

"What are YOU to Naboo?"

"Let go," answered Vince, scared.

Howard transferred his hands to his hips.

"WELL?"

"Er..." Vince struggled to hold eye contact. "It's private," he said helplessly.

"That's what he said," replied Howard, dangerously soft. "Try again."

Vince swallowed. "I'm sorry. I can't."

As Howard lunged, there was a roar; then strong arms grabbed him from behind.

"You no harm precious Vince."

"What? Bollo!"

The gorilla held him fast. Naboo glided past to take Vince's hand.

"Naboo! What? Why's Bollo out of his cage?"

Naboo ignored Howard, gently leading Vince away. Bollo waited for several minutes, ignoring his captive's outraged bluster, before releasing his grip. The gorilla left without comment. Howard sat down on the bench and put his head in his hands.

_I didn't mean it, Vince. It was that bloody Naboo. I would never really hurt you. You know that. I'm so sorry._

In Naboo's private quarters, Vince was unusually red in the face. His eyes had dimmed from brightest blue to dullest grey, but they still swam with raw emotion – hurt, confusion, guilt. His lips were pressed firmly together and looked like they could never smile again.

_Howard really came at me and..._

'**_It was_**_ **Naboo**'**s fault**.'_

_...And I upset Bollo, thanks to you._

'_**Don**'**t change the subject**.__'_

_Will you GET out of my head?_

'_**I**'**m YOU**__.'_

"Vince... Vince... VINCE..."

The young keeper blinked and finally focused.

"Boo," he whispered.

"Here. Drink this. It'll help."

Vince accepted a cup of something purple and steaming.

"Thanks."

He raised it to his lips.

'_**Don**'**t** **drink that**, **you fool**__.'_

Vince defiantly drank the whole potion.

_I trust Naboo not you. OFF!_

Placed back on hold, the brain cell sighed.

_'__**I gotta love him**,** but I do wish he hadn't learned that**.** For him to reach his potential**,** we need to be together**,** but he's so scared**.** I won't give up though**.** Despite anything Naboo can do**,** Vince is mine**.__'_


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note**

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (single speech marks)_

Howard - normal (no speech marks) / Head Cell - normal (single speech marks)

Come With Me Now

"Vince, you should get some sleep," advised Naboo. "But stay here."

"Why?"

"We're going on a trip tomorrow."

Vince opened his eyes wide.

"But... tomorrow..." He yawned; then continued. "He'll need me."

Naboo shook his head.

"Listen, Vince," he said gently. "We all talked about it after your upset."

_So that's why nobody looked at me. _Vince's eyes filled.

"But... if I don't... say goodbye..."

"Your heart has suffered too much." Naboo's tone became final. "Vincent... it's for the best. And don't worry about Howard. He'll join us later."

"Yes, Naboolio."

Sadly, Vince stripped off his uniform to reveal a Gary Numan tee shirt and red, designer underpants. He lay down where Naboo indicated and closed his eyes without fuss. The shaman covered him with a warm, patchwork blanket.

"Thanks, Naboo. Good night."

"Good night, Vince."

While Vince slept like an angel, Howard sulked at the table in the hut. An untouched cup of tea sat in front of him. He kept glancing towards the door.

_Under normal circumstances Vince would have come back and we'd have made it up. What IS Naboo doing with him?_

'**You want him? Go and get him**'_,_ interrupted his Head brain cell.

"Don't be ridiculous," answered Howard aloud. "There's a crazed gorilla out there and he wants to tear my arms off."

'**Call yourself a man of action**.'

"Shut up. Damn you."

'**Alright, but you're in denial**.'

Howard growled and made a mental disconnection.

'**They're impossible**,' muttered his brain.

'_**But made for each other**_,' answered Vince's cell.

'**Where ARE you**?'

'_**With Naboo. Vince is stronger now**_.'

'**But oblivious**.'

'_**Yes**_.'

They both sighed in unison.

'**So how is he**?'

'_**Greyed out. Naboo gave him a sleep potion**_.'

'**Will that help**?'

'_**I have no idea. He trusts Naboo absolutely, but I don't**_.'

'**Good luck then**.'

'_**I'll report later**_.'

Howard began to pace about the hut in frustration.

"Howard T. J. Moon, you're a fool. With the little tit gone, you can finally start serious work on that novel to make your name. No stupid questions and observations, no weather impressions, no bananas. And no hands." _Those hands which make me feel so..._ _not that he could possibly... just don't go there, Moon. _"You could put on a jazz tape right now. No one calling you a freak or complaining of allergies. Vince is bad medicine for you and Naboo says he's going to get worse. Why don't you leave them all behind and find new friends who'll appreciate you instead of kicking you when you're down?" _Who else would save your life so many times? Laugh with you, crimp with you, give you surprise presents? And he does regret. _"And he NEEDS me. He'd like to deny it, but he NEEDS me."

'**Then go get him, idiot**.'

"I will get him, Sir. In the morning."

'**Coward**.'

"Off."

The instant Howard fell asleep, he heard a familiar voice within his head.

_...Howard? Howard? Howard! Hey, Jazzy Freak!_

Er... Vince?

_Howard, I've been waiting ages._

Vince?

_Come with me now..._

Where?

_I couldn't tell you, so I'll show you. Come back, Howard. Remember. Remember how the Boosh was born. You and me. Friends forever._

I don't understand.

_If we can crimp together, we can dream together. COME._

Boosh Childhood (When they were about five.)

All eyes turned to the school gate as a new pupil, arriving at the start of second term, was hugging his carer fiercely. He was small for his age and his uniform did not fit right. When he turned, he proved to have huge, sky blue eyes and blond hair, impossibly neat, streaked with red. He looked uncertain, but then a broad beam lit his whole face. At that moment, the bell rang.

"You're late," reprimanded a teacher, coming to the gate and taking the boy's hand. His carer, clad in a cloak and looking well muscled, glowered at her. She quickly changed her tone.

"Well, come along, Vincent. I'll show you where you need to stand. I'm Mrs White, the Deputy Head."

"Thank you, Mrs White."

"Good manners, but try not to be late again."

An older boy leered as Vince was placed at the end of a queue.

"We'll have some fun with that one," he hissed. "He's wimpier than Pencil Case."

"Yeah, we will, Leroy," agreed his best friend, Lance.

On entering the Infants Class, Vince ignored all the other pupils in favour of the Pets Corner. There were three cages, containing a white mouse, a golden hamster and a black rabbit. Vince squeaked out greetings and they all came eagerly towards him, whiskers twitching.

"Careful, they all bite," warned a voice from behind him.

Without glancing round, Vince answered, "No, they won't. Animals all love me. I'll show you." He reached for the latch on Cynthia's cage.

"No, we're not allowed. Come and sit down."

Vince opened the door and held out the palm of his hand for Cynthia to sniff. The mouse stepped daintily on to it; then ran up his arm and on to his shoulder. He turned carefully round and smiled at the worried looking boy, clutching a brown pencil case.

"See? I'm Vince. I was born in a jungle and Bryan was away a lot so animals raised me and... Sorry, what's your name?"

The boy smiled back shyly.

"Howard."

_Balloon_, thought Vince, studying the face. _Or a moon._

"Howard Moon," broke in a sharp voice. "And Vincent Noir?"

Cynthia was down Vince's neck, as both boys turned to face their teacher. She put her hands on her hips and they looked sheepish.

"Vincent, this is your first day. You need to respect the rules."

"Sorry."

"You'll call me Miss Wick."

"Sorry, Miss Wick."

"When you come in, you sit down."

"Yes, Miss Wick. Howard did tell me."

"Yes, well, go and sit down now."

Vince giggled as he followed Howard to a table at the back.

"Silence!" ordered Miss Wick.

"Vince!" Howard hissed.

"She's tickling."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note**

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (single speech marks)_

Howard - normal (no speech marks) / Head Cell - normal (single speech marks)

Howard and Mowgli

While Miss Wick called the register, Howard felt a small hand slip into his beneath the table. He squeezed it comfortingly.

_Vince doesn't know what to do. I have to look after him._

Howard felt very proud as he thought this. Vince was strange, but not at all scary.

_And he likes me. He trusts me._

"Howard Moon."

He put his hand up. "Here."

"Vincent Noir."

Vince followed Howard's example and then the whole class turned to look at him.

"Alright?" he asked, just as Cynthia emerged from his sleeve. He caught her gently and tickled her ears, unaware of a sudden chill in the air.

"Vincent..." Miss Wick took a breath and mentally counted to ten. "Vincent... come out here."

Howard watched helplessly as Vince innocently carried Cynthia to the front.

"Vincent, put the rodent back. Pets aren't allowed on the desks or on you."

"Sorry, Miss Wick."

Vince squeaked to Cynthia, causing everyone to laugh, apart from Howard and Miss Wick. Reluctantly, he replaced her in the cage and started back to his seat.

"No. SIT there!"

Miss Wick pointed to a stool by her desk. Biting his lip, Vince obeyed.

"This is NOT a good start, Vincent."

"I..."

Seeing the upset and confusion in his new friend's eyes, Howard impulsively stood and hurried over, despite Miss Wick's glare. He raised his hand.

"He... He just likes animals, Miss Wick. And Vince doesn't know the rules."

He blushed furiously, while still holding her gaze. His fingers lightly rested on Vince's arm. Miss Wick smiled slowly.

"In that case, you can both stay in at play time and learn them."

"Yes, Miss Wicked. Er... Wick."

"And Vincent... I think I should have a meeting with your guardian. I'll give you a letter. Make sure he gets it."

"He will, Miss Wick. Sorry."

"Back to your seats."

Howard took a firmer grip as he led Vince back to their table.

_It's not so bad. I'd rather stay in. But what else is he going to do?_

During the activities, Howard kept a close eye on the smaller boy. Several times he scolded Vince for chewing absently on pencils, crayons, rubbers and rulers.

"Wha? Oh. Yeah. Sorry, Howard."

"You're like a puppy."

Vince smiled. Howard smiled back.

_I hope he's toilet trained, _thought the boy of action_._

Miss Wick watched the pair of them. Howard was the quietest in the class and did not usually draw attention to himself or interact with other pupils. Vince was cute as a cherub, but his behaviour was... challenging. She wondered how many strings his guardian had pulled to get him in. At play time, Vince cheerfully parroted the basic rules, alongside Howard, but she wondered if he really understood.

"Very good, boys," she said. "Now, will you clean out the pets please?"

"Yes, Miss Wick."

"If you do it well, they can be your responsibility."

Vince looked puzzled.

"Repondsility?"

"That means we do it, Vince," answered Howard. "And it's re-spon-si-bil-ity."

Vince beamed. "Thanks, Howard."

He grabbed his friend's hand and ran over to the corner. Miss Wick shook her head and sat down at her desk.

Vince lifted each animal out in turn, handling them exactly the way they liked and squeaking to them, before setting them down in a temporary holding box. Howard was fascinated.

"I've asked them not to bite you," said Vince, as they began pulling out old straw. "Because you're my very best friend and they shouldn't."

"Thank you," answered Howard. "You're my best friend too, Vince." _My only friend_.

Suddenly Vince began singing a silly song that was clearly made up and Howard found himself joining in. It was about pets and straw and staying friends forever. Unconsciously they harmonised until new straw was put in and the pets' bowls were filled. Miss Wick inspected their work and praised them. Then the bell rang and they had to put everyone back. Howard, on Vince's insistence, replaced Cynthia. She did not bite him.

At lunch time, Howard and Vince sat in a quiet corner, sharing the contents of their boxes. They were oblivious to the whispering and staring from other tables.

"You were born in the jungle?" Howard asked.

"Yes. I never knew my real parents. Bryan and his animals found me. Now I live with Boo and Bollo. They're great."

Suddenly the whole scene froze.

**o - o **

BOLLO!

_It's alright, Howard._

WHAT! BOLLO! Vince, we were best friends. That means I must have met your care-rents. If one of them was Bollo, I'd bloody remember. And wait a minute. Boo. You don't mean... Vince, this is CRAZY.

_Howard, if you have a panic attack you'll wake up. Howard? Howard? Blow. I knew this would happen._

'_**He'll come around**,_** Vince**,' soothed the Brain Cell. '**Now**_** while you**'**re waiting**..._'

_No. I'll go and find Charlie. I have nothing I want to discuss with... par-a-sites._

'**Sooner or later you'll have to accept that I'm you**.'

_Off._

'_**You have to be awake to do that**._'

_Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr._

'_**Now**,** don't be like that. This new dream talent's really genius**._'

_Yeah, it is. And Naboo knew what I needed to do, so lay off._

'_**Okay**,** okay**.** Just cool your boots**.** Charlie will be in the library**._'

Howard woke up in a sweat and went to fix himself a cup of coffee. _That was a really cute dream. Vince would never have survived school without my tutelage. But then it all got freaky. He must be confusing the past with the present. If they'd raised him, I would certainly know._

'_**They could have messed with your**_** mind**,' argued his Head Cell.

"Naboo doesn't have real power."

'_**Are you sure**_?'

"He's a charlatan. Vince believes in him but I certainly do not, Sir."

To distract himself, Howard put on a jazz tape and soon slipped into a trance.

_Hey, Howard. Welcome back_. _We really do need to finish this._

I'm not asleep, Vince.

_You're in a trance. Same thing. I just need to eject the jazz and insert the dream._

This is an invasion of privacy.

_PLAY!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note**

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks)

Howard - normal (no speech marks)

Boo and Bollo

"Do you miss the jungle, Vince?" asked Howard.

"Yes. I could run and jump and swing with all the animals. I wasn't shut in. But I love Boo and Bollo. And if they hadn't found me, I wouldn't have met you."

As Vince once more broke into his special smile, Howard felt himself blushing.

"Vince... I..."

His friend kept his big, blue eyes on Howard, while fiddling with a strand of long hair.

"I..." Howard was unused to such focus and his tiny eyes slid off. "Thank you, Vince."

**o - o **

_Aww! Howard, you were cute, _gushed the Noir's elder self.

Don't patronise me, answered Howard gruffly.

_Well, not as cute as me, but... Honestly, Howard, I... _

Can we move this along?

**o - o **

The dream fast forwarded to Vince gingerly taking a sealed envelope from Miss Wick. He returned to Howard's side and they walked to the cloakroom. Vince's bag was green, decorated with monkeys; Howard's was plain and brown. Vince slipped the letter inside the front pocket, before silently following his friend out.

"Hey, Pencil Case. Got a pet?"

Howard whispered urgently to Vince.

"Don't look. Don't say a word."

He hurried their pace towards the gate.

"Who? What?"

"Shhh."

Vince stopped, turned around and placed his hands on his hips.

"I'm Vince Noir," he announced. "And you are?"

Howard groaned, but he could not abandon Vince. Two eight year olds, one with short red hair, the other with curled blond hair, were regarding his bold friend with amusement.

"So, are you the mouse?" asked Leroy.

When Vince ignored this, both Leroy and Lance began squeaking.

"Hey. Leave Vince alone."

Howard stepped in front of the smaller boy.

"Or what, Pencils?"

Leroy shoved Howard. Lance reached out, intending to pull Vince's hair.

"GRRRRRRRRRR!" Vince's eyes flashed with rage.

Surprised, Lance drew his hand back. Vince growled again at Leroy, before helping Howard to his feet.

"Come on, Howard. They're nobody."

"That's right, Vince."

**o - o **

_Lance Dior, _gasped the dreaming Vince. _I haven't seen him in ages._

You two could have been twins, Howard commented.

_Don't you DARE compare me to Lance._

I meant in behaviour. You were a right pair of preening twats. Obviously in looks...

_Yes, Howard?_

Never mind. Let's roll this so I can get back to my jazz.

**o - o **

"Listen, Vince. The playground is a dangerous place. Lance and Leroy are..."

"They're nobody, Howard. If they come near us again I'll..."

"Whoah there, Mowgli."

Vince giggled; then cocked his head. "Mowgli?"

"You haven't seen The Jungle Book?"

"No."

"Mowgli was raised by animals, just like you. Then he had to live with humans."

"Why?"

"A tiger wanted to eat him."

"A tiger wouldn't eat me."

"You're too sweet. You'd rot his teeth."

Vince giggled again.

"Vince Noir..."

Recognising Leroy's voice, Vince turned to face him.

"We don't want you."

"I'm not nobody. I'm Leroy and this is Lance."

Vince began to make an angry, hissing noise. Howard stood uncertainly behind, with his hand on Vince's shoulder.

"Vincent, what's going on?" asked a mild voice, instantly defusing the child.

Lance and Leroy stared for a moment, then retreated to a safe distance. Vince and Howard exchanged nervous smiles before turning.

**o - o **

NO, IT CAN'T BE!

_Howard... They're magic. At the time, you wouldn't have... They disguised themselves. But to me, they always looked..._

Why aren't I awake?

_Trance. I always had to..._

Vince, I don't need a slap in the face to... Oh, alright. Play.

_Thanks, Howard._

**o - o **

"Howard, these are my care-rents."

"Hello," said Howard shyly.

The smaller of the two, dressed in a blue robe, greeted Howard back, but the other only grunted. Vince eagerly pulled Howard forward.

"This is Howard. He's my BEST friend!"

Boo studied Howard with as much concentration as Vince, noting brown, untidy hair and the smallest pair of eyes he had ever seen. Howard noted that Boo's lips were in a perfect straight line, as if they did not know how to smile or frown. His eyes reflected a quiet authority, which was even more evident when he spoke.

"You'll see him again tomorrow, Vince. It's time to go home."

"Yes, Boo. Goodbye, Howard."

Vince gave Howard a hug, causing his friend to go stiff and pat Vince clumsily on the back.

"Goodbye, Mowgli."

_Sorry,_ mouthed Vince, before being scooped up by the scary, cloaked and hooded Bollo, who seemed a very odd shape.

_And as if he could pull Miss Wick's head off, _thought Howard, watching them go. Boo had picked up Vince's satchel. _I hope he isn't in too much trouble._

The dream skipped.

"Bollo, you make the supper. Vince, come with me."

Vince meekly followed his guardian to the smaller bedroom in the flat. It was painted green and there were plush animals lying on a jungle themed bedspread. Vince picked up his favourite, Noel the monkey.

"Boo," Vince said shyly, squeezing Noel tight. "There's a letter. From Miss Wick."

"Did you get into trouble, Vince?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, Boo. There were animals. Howard tried to stop me but..."

"Vincent."

At once Vince became silent, gazing up at Boo with wide, worried eyes.

"We'll talk about it later, okay?"

"Okay."

Boo helped Vince change into a pair of red pyjamas, covered with silver stars. They returned to the main room and sat at the table. Vince chatted enthusiastically about Howard; while Boo looked intently at him. Bollo, wearing a rose pink apron, crept up behind his beloved child and tied on a bib.

"Time to eat now, little prince."

**o - o **

No wonder Bollo's jealous of me, smugged the maverick.

_If you hadn't been there, Howard..._

You'd have run away.

_You cared about me._

I...

**o - o **

At that moment the jazz tape stopped and Howard was immediately un-tranced. Flushed scarlet, he blinked several times, then rushed out of the hut. On arrival at Naboo's sanctum, he burst right in. It was unoccupied.

Howard caught his breath, then noticed a familiar uniform draped over a couch. There was a note pinned to it. Howard snatched it and screamed.

_Howard, I've taken Vince to the new flat. Pack his stuff and I'll be back for it. And you. Naboolio._


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note**

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (single speech marks)_

Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

Gone Wrong

Still trapped in sleep, Vince left Memory Theatre and headed for the Library.

'_**Vince**_?' asked the Brain Cell tentatively. He looked at the mood monitor, which had a red warning light flashing underneath it. '_**Vince**_?'

Receiving neither rebuff, nor welcome, Brain drummed his fingers on the desk. '_**Whether he talks to me or not**,** he's heading for a panic attack**._'

The Library contained all the knowledge that Vince had collected over the years. Shelves surrounded an area of fluffy red carpet. There was an arm chair in the middle, which Vince collapsed into. He thought about a pink, bubble gum creature with an impressive looking moustache and a hat. In a flash, Charlie appeared in front of him, growling out a fond greeting.

_Hi, Charlie_.

Vince's voice was barely audible and while his eyes were back to their usual blue, they swam with intense sadness. Charlie observed the cobwebs in his creator's hair, the faded and tattered uniform, the posture of complete and utter defeat. Concentrating, he shrank his form until Vince was able to pick him up and stroke him. Charlie's skin was full of interesting bumps and hollows, but not sticky.

Vince was quiet for a long time, before mumbling, _thanks._

'What is it?' Charlie asked.

_I... _

'_**Howard**_,' prompted the Brain Cell.

'Ah,' said Charlie sagely. 'He.'

_We... We've gone wrong. And... I don't..._

A tear was finally allowed to fall.

..._don't know how to fix us. And I'm changing. I never used to be so... so... MEAN. He thinks I'm MEAN. And VAIN. And SELFISH. I want to show him I'm not, to tell him I'm not... I mean, I know he's a jazz freak and has the worst dress sense ever, but... there's nobody else who... who I would... BRING BACK FROM HELL. But he won't even let me hold his hand anymore._

Overcome with the flood of new feelings, Vince, still holding Charlie tightly, stood up, threw back his head and

HOWL!

Glass shattered and every dog within hearing range gave an answering cry; while their owners froze in terror. Bollo, sitting by the bed, hastily enveloped a now wide awake Vince in his arms. Vince sobbed into the gorilla's comforting fur.

Naboo, pacing restlessly in the living room, was not his usual calm mask. His eyes reflected guilt, concern and love for the child he had adopted all those years ago.

_This has to be the cruellest thing I have ever done, but a Noir can only mature through grief. The zoo was the perfect nursery. Now he has to face the real world. But he does need Howard... unfortunately._

At the zoo, Howard was grimly sorting through everything that Vince owned, folding the garish outfits neatly, counting up the hair products, alphabetising the pop tapes by artist and gathering sketch pads.

"Vince is going to wake up and discover that he hasn't got his phone, his hair products or even the simplest change of clothes. He really will swear his tits off and it'll serve Boo and Bollo right."

'**So you accept that now, do you?**'

"Yes. It explains such a lot. But I'm the one who's done the real care-renting. I know Vince better than I do myself. Yes, he's an annoying little tit, but he's like the... er... brother I never had."

'**A... brother**?'

"... YES. He's immature and I can't possibly think of him in any other way. Even if he does look..."

'**Yes**?'

"He's an electro poof. OFF."

'**Howard, you're a complete...**'

'_**Hi there**,_' interrupted the Brain Cell.

'**Oh. How's Vince?**'

'_**He's**_... _**distressed. Howard**_?'

'**Packing**.'

'_**But still being stubborn**_?'

'**As always**.'

'_**Well, I better get back to mine. He... might need me.'**_

'**Lucky you. Bye**.'

'_**Bye**_.'

Bollo, now very damp, laid an unconscious Vince gently down on the bed. He tucked the blankets tenderly around his child, stroked the precious fringe and then quietly left the room. He sat grumpily down on the couch. Naboo, now composed, silently passed over the hookah.

Howard was determined not to fall asleep and he was certainly not in the mood for jazz. Bored, he carried Vince's sketch books to the table and began casually flicking through them. Most were of the mammals in the zoo. Vince had dressed them as his favourite pop stars and even styled their hair. Bollo was especially obliging. They were all captioned in crayon. Howard tutted at the spelling, but ruefully admitted that Vince did have actual drawing talent. There was the occasional sketch of a human - Naboo, Bob Fossil, Mrs Gideon, Leroy. Vince struggled with the faces, but their clothes were always in perfect detail.

"But at least he's GIVEN them faces. Not like the time he... Oh!"

Howard stared at the new page, which carried the stern instruction, _Membre Mootash. _Below there was a picture of his own face with every feature not only in place, but recognisable. His name was spelled correctly too.

_Maybe he does see me after all._

Vince was lying corpse-like on the floor of Memory Theatre, with a kitten sized Charlie settled on his chest. The dream was paused on the screen, but Vince was failing to make contact with Howard.

'_**Don't fret**,' _comforted the Brain Cell_. '**You know he doesn't need as much sleep as you**._'

_He's annoyed at me. He won't sleep. He doesn't want to see. He doesn't want to hear. We've gone wrong. And I think... I think... it was my fault._

'_**Don't be silly**,** Vince. You've always been his best mate**.** Always, Vince**_.'

_Then why does he push me away_?

'_**I don't know**.** But he wants you with him**.** Never doubt that**.** He's yours**,** Vince**.** You chose him**.** And he chose you**_.'

_Friends forever. We promised._

'_**And promises are for keeping, right**_?'

_Right._

'_**Do you trust me now**_?'

_Yes, but leave Boo and Bollo alone._

'_**You got a deal**,** Vince. Now about your hair**_...


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note**

_Best of Friends_" is written by Stan Fidel. From Disney's "_The Fox and the Hound."_

Internal Dialogue Guide

The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (single speech marks)_

Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

A Shaman's Heart

"I'm not BOTHERED about my HAIR!" Vince shouted, waking himself up. He stared vacantly at the ceiling, not moving a muscle. "Or clothes either. I just want..."

"Good morning, Vince."

Naboo was sitting by the bed, expressionless.

"...Howard." _Come on, Howard. Remember the good times. We were whole once. WHOLE, Howard. And you... you were... you still are... my own._

"Night memories can cover the distance, Vince, but your waking telepathy is too weak," Naboo advised.

Ignoring his guardian, Vince began to sing a song that he recalled from his youth.

"When you're the best of friends... having so much fun together. You're not even aware... you're such a funny pair. You're the best of..."

'_**I've got an idea. Transmit**_.'

'**Received**.'

At the zoo, Howard dreamily picked up a pencil and began sketching inside his journal. Two Mogwai eyes... a pointy nose... wide grin... long reddish hair... a luxurious tail...

"If only the world wouldn't get in the way," he sang. "If only people would just let you play. They say you're both being fools. You're breaking all the rules..." _Vince used to love that movie. We wore out the tape._

"When these moments have passed, will that friendship last?" harmonised Vince and Howard unknowingly.

"MOON!" roared Bob Fossil over the tannoy. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? THE TINY, HAIRY GUYS NEED TO BE BOXED BEFORE BAINBRIDGE ARRIVES. AND IF YOU SEE MY LITTLE VINCEY, SEND HIM IMMEDIATELY TO MY OFFICE."

Howard forgot the song, then frowned at his drawing. It was...

'**You think he's foxy**.'

Not dignifying that with an answer, Howard carefully tore out the page, folded it and placed it in his jacket pocket.

"Not a chance, Fossil," he growled. "He's MY Vixey."

'**Ha**.'

"Shut up."

At the flat, Vince continued to sing.

"Oh, I hope. I hope it never ends. 'Cause... you're... the... best... of... friends." _Howard, what happened to us? What did I say? What did I do? I... I never remember. If I hurt you... I... I... I'm sorry._

Naboo rolled his eyes at the ceiling, then walked to the foot of the bed. Folding back the blanket, he reached out and...

"What you do, Naboo?"

Bollo was standing sternly in the doorway with a towel draped over his arm.

The shaman put his hand back by his side and turned around.

"I might ask you the same question."

"Since YOU didn't bother bringing any clean things..."

"You'll freak him out."

"It's me."

"Don't be a ball bag."

They stared at each other until Bollo was forced to look away.

"If you want to be useful, go and get breakfast," Naboo ordered.

Bollo dropped the towel on top of Vince's exposed feet, then stomped off.

"That gorilla," Naboo sighed. "I couldn't do without him though."

Walking back to the head of the bed, the Shaman stroked the tangled mass of hair.

"You can grab it," said Vince tonelessly. "I don't care. It was never worth it."

"You don't mean that, Vince. You're just depressed."

"Howard never liked it."

"Howard protests too much."

"And he doesn't like my clothes."

"Howard likes you just as you are. Believe me."

Vince closed his eyes. "He used to."

Naboo spoke in his sternest tone. "You've had enough sleep. When you're ready, join me in the living room, Vince."

"Yes, Boo."

Not finding any clothes, Vince improvised with the blanket and the towel. He did not touch his hair. The Brain Cell put his face in his hands.

'_**Vince**_... _**dragged through a hedge backwards will NEVER be in fashion.**__'_

"Tough. It's this look or naked."

Leaving his pants and tee shirt on the floor, Vince left the room. Moments later, something small and pink dropped in through the open window and scuttled under the bed.

"I've got a tingle in my tentacles," Tony chuckled. "A virgin Noir. What an outrage!"

The only furniture in the living room was a shabby beige couch. Vince sank on to it, not bothering to pose. He stared blankly ahead, failing either to accuse or to comment. Naboo, much discomforted, sat down beside him.

"Vince?"

Receiving no answer, Naboo took hold of a pale hand.

"This is our new flat, Vince. It's in Dalston. There's not much furniture yet. We thought you'd like to choose."

"Thanks."

"You're the one with the fashion knowledge. And you'll be able to get us discounts too. Take Howard with you."

"If he comes."

"Why wouldn't he?"

After a very long silence, Vince admitted, "I'm not sure he likes me anymore. I want to fix us, but when I try... it goes wrong."

Before Naboo could answer, Bollo arrived with the breakfast supplies. His eyes widened at Vince's messed up hair and the blanket-towel combo.

"It's my new look," said Vince. "No other choice."

"Grunt."

Bollo stomped to the kitchen.

Vince covered his eyes with his free hand.

"I'm not getting on with Bollo either."

"Vince..."

"Are you upset with me?"

"No." Naboo squeezed Vince's hand and spoke as tenderly as he could manage. "I know I don't often tell you but..." He faltered, as Vince's fabulous eyes, so wide, so blue, so tortured, remade contact. _I'll never get used to them. Never. _"Vince... Nobody could love you more than I do. I love you, Vince."

Surprised into a smile, Vince answered warmly, "I love you too, Boo."

"You know, I've missed you calling me that."

As they started to explore some memories, Bollo re-entered with a plate of toast and chopped fruit for Vince. Taking the hint, Naboo gave a final squeeze and then headed to make his own breakfast.

"Thank you," whispered Vince, his mood dropping again. He ate reluctantly, without tasting anything, while Bollo settled unhappily at the far end of the couch. Vince kept glancing over at him with a helpless expression. The gorilla inched closer whenever his child was not looking.

"What's the matter, little prince?"

Gently, he took the plate from Vince's hands.

"Oh, Bollo. I broke us."

"No you didn't."

Bollo placed a slice of strawberry on his child's palm, which Vince promptly ate. He continued to feed and reassure until the plate was empty and they could finally cuddle up. Bollo carefully avoided mentioning hair and dress sense. The Brain Cell also held his peace.

'_**There's only one person who can set him straight now**_,' he told a full size Charlie, who was helping check the monitors. '_**But Vince seems to have forgotten all about him**_.'


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note**

Internal Dialogue Guide

Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

Man of Action

While Vince gave full focus to Boo and Bollo, not listening to his Brain Cell trying to remind him of the Zooniverse and the pain connected with it, Howard was preparing a van to transport the Monkey King's subjects.

"This wasn't right," he fretted. "Vince would have found it hard, but I'd have kept a close eye on him."

'**You could have spoken up**,' chided the Head Cell. '**You'r**e** a coward**, **Howard**.'

"They wouldn't have taken notice of me."

'**You were embarrassed to stand up for your only friend**.'

"He's NOT my only... Look, if he humiliates himself, it's none of my concern."

'**Liar**.'

"It'll have been a valuable lesson for him, Sir."

'**YOU**... **love**... **him**.'

"He laughs at me."

'**He loves you**, **but he**'**s scared. Just like**...'

"Vince and I both like GIRLS, sir. He's always surrounded by them and he can have his pick. While I'm in love with Mrs Gideon."

'**Vince doesn't look at anyone else the way he looks at you and Mrs Gideon doesn't know you're alive**.'

"LEAVE ME ALONE or I'll..."

'**You can't come at yourself**.'

"Off."

The monkey tribe were grooming each other when Howard entered with their food. They looked hopefully past him, but their king was not following.

"It's just me," Howard confirmed. "And Vince has given me full authority. Don't make me use nets."

Shrieking, the monkeys ran for the safety of the jungle palace that Vince had spent days constructing. When Howard approached they pelted him with faeces and skins of fruit. Undeterred, he tried to pick one up, which bit him. His surprised yelp spurred the tribe to launch an attack, leaping, biting, scratching, pulling, chasing.

"Don't kill me. I've got so much to give," Howard whimpered, reaching the gate in relief. The aggressors dropped off and he slammed it shut.

'**Pathetic**.'

"I'll beat them yet."

Behind him, the monkeys were performing a victory dance.

'**How**?'

"I've worked here far longer than Vince. I'm a professional zookeeper. I never had these problems when Tommy was in charge."

'**You can't blame Vince**.'

"No," Howard answered, rolling his eyes. "Of course not."

He hurried back to the horrid emptiness of the hut, then plucked Vince's demo tape out of the line up.

"Right. Plan B."

'**That will never work**.'

Paying no attention, Howard inserted the tape in the cassette player and carried it outside with a determined look.

"They're monkeys. They're dumber than he is."

He placed a large crate on a trolley and then just before reaching the tribe's enclosure, he pressed play and concealed the cassette player at the back of the crate. As he opened the gate, Vince's voice floated over to his subjects.

"Monkeys stole my face. Took me down to another place. Now I'm the leader of their race. I'm a Monkey King..."

_That is catchy,_ Howard thought. _Vince shouldn't give up on his dream._

The tribe came to investigate and as Howard hoped, entered the crate. Quickly, he closed and secured it.

"And I didn't need him or Naboo," he boasted.

'**Just his voice**.'

Howard remembered how sensuous that voice had sounded inside his head.

'**But you wouldn't listen when it was important**.'

Shutting his brain down again, Howard transferred the sulking monkeys to the van, leaving them with food and water, before joining the rest of the keepers for a final meeting. Nobody acknowledged him, apart from Fossil, who challenged him about Vince's absence.

"I don't know where he is," answered Howard honestly. "But Naboo isn't here either."

"That barefoot traitor. I told him he could have the hairy man beast, but that Vincey was mine. Oh, Bainbridge, pumpkin..."

Fossil trotted after his hero in a way that reminded Howard of puppy Vince.

_He was adorable and he would stick up for me. NOW..._

'**He's a fox**_._'

"Don't start," Howard snapped.

As Bainbridge and Fossil delivered saccharine speeches; then instructions to their assembled staff, Howard kept glancing to his side. _I'm not missing him. I am NOT. He'd only be fidgeting and checking his phone messages, then wanting me to explain everything afterwards. Or he'd be piping up and landing us both in trouble._

'**It wasn't deliberate**.'

_Same result. Now pipe down. I'm trying to listen._

"When do we get paid?" the Head of Falcons shouted.

Fossil fobbed him off and there was a general outcry. Panicked, Fossil grabbed Bainbridge and they secured themselves in the office. The keepers hung around, murmuring their discontent.

Mrs Gideon turned to Howard and frowned, trying to place him.

"Howard Moon," he said wearily. "Head of Mammals."

She shook her head.

"Vince's friend."

"Such a nice boy," she sighed. "It's a shame he was..." She tapped her forehead.

Howard glared. "That's not what you thought when I brought him."

"Well..."

"Vince saved your snake with his gift. He painted your portrait. You were always wanting to touch his hair."

"I didn't know he was... wolf."

"What! You think he's going to rip your throat out? Vince is the gentlest soul I have ever... had the pleasure of..."

Howard turned away and swiped his hand across his eyes.

_He's my BEST FRIEND and I'm..._

'**Proud**?'

_Yes. But also... I... I..._

Howard stumbled towards the van in a daze.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note**

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (single speech marks)_

Adoption

"Don't worry, little Noir," muttered Tony. "The H Man's here and he'll tell you everything you need to know about being Chosen. Screw you, Naboo and your big, dumb gorilla too."

He heard soft thuds and then he sneezed as several furry forms squeezed under the bed with him. He kept them at bay with his tentacles. They hissed, but did not dare to scratch or bite. Tony resigned himself to their presence.

"He's a disgrace to the Council. He's spends far too much time consorting with the lower lives and he breaks every rule in the book. If Dennis wasn't such a soft touch, he'd have been permanently stripped of his powers long ago. The only reason he took the Noir was to spite the rest of us."

Sneezing again, he conjured up a small force field around him.

"Cats!" he cursed. "Useless creatures. Outrage."

Vince, feeling too hot all of a sudden, cast off the blanket. Bollo inwardly cringed at his child's seeming okay-ness with this, but knew that it was best to say nothing. Vince, finally convinced that their relationship was as strong as ever, managed to keep up a friendly conversation for an hour or so, before the barrier he had put up in his mind abruptly fell. He began whimpering. Bollo grunted anxiously.

_I... I... don't want this feeling. I don't. It's too..._

'_**I know, Vince. But you mustn't forget. It's a very important part of you. Don't lose it**_.'

Tears welled up and Bollo cuddled his child closer.

_He'd be better off without me. I'm... I'm bad luck. I don't know what I did or why, but the more good luck I have, the more bad luck he has and... and..._

Charlie glared at the Brain Cell, who tried not to sound panicked.

'_**Vince... that's not**_...'

_It is. We were the best of friends and I ruined it. Without me, he'd have pursued his dreams and become a great jazz... mav-er-ick or an author or an explorer. I stole everyone's attention and I laughed at him and..._

'_**Stop. Stop thinking. This isn't**_...'

Naboo came back in just as Vince let out another of his heart-rending howls. Once more he was answered by all the local mammals.

"Drink this, Vince."

"What is it?"

"Honey and lemon. For your throat."

Vince nodded and drank up. The Brain Cell slapped his forehead.

Once Vince was asleep, Bollo carried him back to bed, too distressed to take note of paw prints in dust or strange scufflings. On the way out, he grabbed the discarded clothes to wash them.

Vince's visitors immediately sprang up on the bed and curled around him, all except Tony who lacked the required limbs.

"You slags! I was here first. Hey, give him a jab or something. I need up."

They simply closed their eyes and ignored him. Tony sulked.

"Bollo, you are my familiar. I command you to put me down."

_Why did I choose a gorilla? Why THIS gorilla?_

"NOW!"

Bollo glared into his shaman's eyes for a moment longer, before lowering him none too gently to the floor. Naboo decided that back turning would not be appropriate under the circumstances. Bollo loomed in a way that only he could, no words necessary. Naboo drew himself up, stern finger raised.

"NEXT time, I trade you in."

Bollo folded his arms. He'd heard this before.

"So you watch it, yeah?"

"Grunt."

Naboo pointed to the floor.

"Sit!"

_I've trained Vince. Why not him?_

Bollo remained in the same position, silently glowering.

"Listen, I had no idea he would react like this. We... We underestimated his bond with Howard."

Bollo slowly turned his back on Naboo. The Shaman stared in disbelief, then headed for the roof to get much needed air. Bollo sat morosely in front of Vince's door. The moment he had first seen Howard, the gorilla had known there would be trouble. Vince's new friend was far too possessive, hindering the Noir's social development. Naboo indulged the relationship, although he did not permit Howard to visit the flat. As the pair grew older, Bollo noticed Vince's regular confusion and hurt at Howard's changed manner towards him, although his child proved to have unlimited forgiveness.

"That's only because he forgets," Bollo growled. "Harold don't deserve little prince."

Vince was inside Memory Theatre, naked. He frowned down at himself. That part of his body was not pretty and he wanted it covered up. Nothing materialised.

_Hey_, he protested.

'_**It's nothing to be afraid of**,** Vince**_.'

_Grrrrrr_.

'_**Have a cloth**__.'_

A soft, blue flannel appeared in his hand.

_Thanks_, he grumbled.

He sat down and placed it in position, just as Charlie slid in through the door. The pink monster saw that Vince's untamed hair was full of dead leaves and twigs.

'Vince... you're hurting yourself.'

_I failed Howard and I failed the zoo. Nothing else matters._

'You haven't failed.'

_Yes, I have. I didn't protect them. I didn't save them. I... I've lost them._

'_**You were taken**,_' the Brain Cell reminded Vince.

_And the monkeys will bite him. I never told them not to._

'_**Taken**_.'

_And now he won't... he won't believe... but I still... still... I really wanted to tell him._

'_**You WILL get another chance**__.'_

Vince stared at the dream screen and began to rewind it, searching.

_See. Here. We're holding hands. And he's smiling. He's so cute. I told him and... he didn't like it. He insisted we move on. What did I do, Charlie? I was careful. I didn't laugh. But he still... He's so cross and he didn't use to be._

He forwarded to the school gate collection scene.

_And see. He didn't like it when I hugged him. But he wasn't mad like he gets now._

Brain and Charlie simply did not know what to say. Vince was not paying attention, determined to figure out what he had done to make Howard hate him. All the vital monitors – confidence, mood, popularity, fashion consciousness, hair care, were at dangerous levels.

'_**The only reason he's not harming himself**_,' Brain informed the rest of Vince Village, '_**is that he can't see himself. No mirrors**_.'

They all murmured anxiously as they went about their duties. They loved Vince dearly and could not have wished for a more charming residence. How could the Noir's keepers neglect him this badly?

On the roof, Naboo was staring into space, wondering for the umpteenth time how it was that he had won the eternal devotion of a blue eyed wonder child.

_What does he think I'll do to him if he yells at me_? _He knows I'm responsible, but he's turning all the blame on himself_. _This isn't what I wanted_. _But surely he must know by now that I'm softer than Bollo_. _The other Shamen wouldn't have cared for Vince as a person_. _They'd have just used his hair as an ingredient and abused his talents for their own ends._ _I chose to be a care-rent. So much more fulfilling_. _I only wish Vince had chosen a better keeper than that ball bag, Howard_. _At the time, I was just glad Vince was going to school without a fight. Of course_, _Bollo_... _had a bad feeling_. Naboo rolled his eyes_. But I put it down to jealousy_.

Checking up on Vince's dream exploration, he decided to intervene. He closed his eyes and concentrated.

"Vincent, you've jumped to a conclusion. I had a chat with Howard and he definitely wanted to keep you."

Startled, Vince leapt to his feet, losing the flannel. He glanced around him.

_Boo_? _Are you here_?

"I can use this gift too, Vince. It's dream tel-e-path-y. I'm on the roof."

_Why? You could fall._

"I'm staying out of Bollo's way. He's angry with me."

_Bollo's never mad with you. You're a team._

"Yes. But that doesn't mean we don't fall out. We're just like you and Howard. We get mad. Then we forgive each other."

Naboo waited for Vince to process this with aid from Brain.

_Howard didn't use to get so mad though. I must have done something._

"You were both very young. You had nothing to fall out about."

This set off another train of thought and Vince eventually replied,

_Boo, we were the same age. Five. Why's he so old now?_

"Er... that's an explanation for another time, Vince."

_Is it my fault?_

"No. Don't worry about it. Now... can I share this dream, Vince?"

_Yes. Of course._

"Thanks."

Vince settled back down and fast rewound to find another precious memory. Brain and Charlie said nothing, relieved that Vince had been headed off, but knowing that if Naboo really wanted to help, he would fetch Howard.

_About Four_

Vince was having an afternoon nap up a tree, resting against the warm flanks of his favourite babysitter, Jahouli the leopard. He wore just a thin, pink T shirt and yellow shorts. As he slept, he purred contentedly.

The monkey tribe crept up and began to tickle him. He protested, then giggled, before agreeing to join them in a game of tree top tag. Jahouli remained asleep. The monkeys helped Vince to swing and to find the right branches to support his weight. He chattered to them, let them search for insects in his hair and gently stroked their backs. They admired his face and asked him to be their king.

"Thank you. I can't be king. I don't have a tail."

"You don't need one."

"I think I do."

"No. You're an ape. Come on."

"Ape?"

The tribe hurried him on, shrieking their delight, while Vince still wished he had a tail like all of his friends did. They did not tease him, but tails were very useful and cool. When a branch unexpectedly broke, he fell, right into the arms of a surprised gorilla. Vince smiled and looked deep into the friendly eyes.

"Hi. Thank you. I'm Vince. What's yours?" he said in perfect ape.

"I'm Bollo," the gorilla grinned. "You sweet, little prince."

Vince yawned. "Sorry."

"That's okay. You need a sleepy."

Feeling safe and snug, Vince closed his eyes, while Bollo gently carried him off.

While some of the monkeys ran to fetch Jahouli, the others followed indignantly through the trees.

"Mine. All mine," murmured Bollo, ignoring them.

**o - o **

'_**Taken**_,' said Brain helpfully.

_I wouldn't have met Howard_, countered Vince. _And I love Bollo. And Boo._

Naboo chuckled, then caught himself.

"You taught me to smile, Vince."

Brain put his head down on the desk.

_Was that bad_?

"No. I just treat it as a luxury. But you, Vince. You're meant to smile. And laugh."

_I've forgotten how_.

"Only temporary. You'll get through this, Vince."

**o - o **

They watched Bollo and Vince arrive at the magic carpet, where Naboo was waiting.

"So you found him. Let's go."

"Oh, Naboo. He's so cute. He can speak ape."

The shaman looked the foundling over, then to Bollo's amazement, removed his blue robe. Beneath, he was wearing a spare.

"Here. Wrap him in this. He could catch cold." Noticing Bollo's stare, Naboo folded his arms. "What!"

"Nothing."

Still with a silly grin, Bollo carefully bundled up Vince and sat on the carpet.

As they were taking off, Jahouli, a tribe of monkeys, a dark clothed man carrying a pink octopus in a papoose; all came rushing up.

"You slags!" yelled Tony. "Bring that back. He's our task."

"I'll report you," Saboo threatened.

"VINCE! OURS!"

Vince half opened his eyes. Bollo stroked his hair.

"Sorry. Shhhh."

Vince smiled, before sinking deeper. Naboo did not turn his head. He simply steered.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note**

All I Ask of You is written by Charles Hart. From Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera.

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (single speech marks)_

Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

Memories

'**Say it. Say it. Say it**,' nagged the Head Cell. '**Would it really kill you to admit it**? **YOU wish**...'

"Just me and the open road. I've got sandwiches. A flask of coffee. My own music."

'**Which you aren**'**t playing because**...'

"No distractions."

'**You're listening to that mix tape he gave you**.'

Howard paid attention to the lyrics.

"_Say you'll share with me one love, one life time. Let me lead you from your solitude. Say you need me with you here, beside you. Anywhere you go, let me go too..._"

Howard paled, stopped the car and ejected the tape. Visibly shaking, he stayed parked, refusing to admit the reason why.

'**YOU are**... **completely**... **Oh**, **I give up**!'

"Listen, even if I was... interested... which I aren't..."

'**Grrr**.'

"I'm not his priority in life. Not... anymore."

'**Howard**, **what do you think he is**?** Property**? **Just how cold can you be**?'

"That was selfish, but... look... he won't even be missing me."

'**Guess that answers it**.'

With that, the Head Cell disconnected, leaving Howard to brood alone.

At the flat, Bollo reluctantly left guard duty to wash the only clothes currently available, including the abandoned blanket.

"And if he won't touch his hair, then I will. I should never have listened to Naboo. This isn't care. This is torment."

**o - o **

In the dream, Vince awakened, still safe in his new friend's arms. He beamed at Bollo, who grinned back, then said very gently, "Vince, we're not in the jungle. I'm taking you home to live with me. I'm your new care-rent."

"There are two of us, Bollo," reminded a soft, strange sounding voice.

"Yes," the gorilla admitted. "Vince, this is..."

"Boo."

Vince's expression was complete puzzlement. His brain cell tried and failed to process the information. He whimpered. Why did his eyes feel so strange?

"It's okay, Vince," soothed Bollo and cuddled him close. "Naboo, he doesn't understand. Shh, Vince. I'll take care of you."

"We both will," Naboo promised.

When the carpet set down on the roof of their block of flats in Leeds, Vince was asleep again. Naboo offered to take him, but Bollo firmly refused. Naboo hand signalled the carpet into the storage shed, then followed his familiar to their sparsely furnished apartment. Bollo unwrapped Vince without waking him, laid him in the only bed and stood watching. To his annoyance, Naboo joined the vigil, sitting at the end of the bed in crossed leg position.

"You can't keep him all to yourself, Bollo. I'm his guardian. You're the live in nanny."

"Vince won't like you... Boo. You're cold."

"It's Naboo to you. And you don't know me that well."

There was an uncomfortable silence before Naboo spoke again.

"I didn't choose to be a Shaman. It was forced upon me. Boo wanted to have a family and own a shop."

"What kind of shop?"

"A hair salon or maybe just a shop selling... stuff. Humans go crazy for all kinds of tat. Especially if they call it fashion."

Bollo frowned, thinking.

"Vince needs stuff."

"If we're going to take him shopping, YOU need a disguise."

"Speciests."

"I could use an illusion."

Bollo rolled his eyes.

"What?" demanded Naboo.

"You'd turn me invisible forever or something."

"No, I wouldn't. Trust me."

**o - o **

_You're arguing and it's my fault._

Naboo, the Brain Cell and Charlie all tensed.

"No, Vince," answered Naboo. "You're innocent. We love you, Vince. Even if we get angry sometimes. That's normal. And you can be angry too."

Vince thought about this and then squeaked out. _You... you didn't let me say goodbye... twice!_

"There were reasons, Vince."

_Okay._

******_That was a small breakthrough_**,' thought the Brain Cell, '_**but he's not curious and his confidence is still low**_. _**He needs Howard**_.'

**o - o **

A green skinned figure in the rear view mirror was the stimulus that Howard needed to get going again. He released the break and stamped hard on the accelerator, ignoring the squeals of protest from the back of the van. His brain was still disowning him, despite Howard finally realising that his protests were unfair to Vince. He began speaking aloud to keep himself company without any music.

"Who am I kidding? He is useless as a driver's mate. He'd rather sleep than talk. He can't map read. He doesn't end his stories. But he's just nice to have around. A luxury pet. And he can be any animal he wants. The puppy that follows you around and licks your face, the monkey that just wants to play, the cat that..."

'**curls on your lap**.'

"Don't start that please. The cat that sleeps for hours at a time and that can scratch without warning. Yes, I know it's by accident, but it still hurts. I could drown him sometimes. I won't deny it. But I wouldn't because..."

'**He's a fox**.'

"He's my friend. A special friend. NOT in THAT way."

'**So near and yet**...'

"Will you get back to sulking?"

'**Well**, **you are nicer without me**. **I**'**ll be quiet**.'

"Thank you."

**o - o **

Vince and Naboo continued watching their younger selves. The shaman knew that Howard was still on the first leg of the monkey run and besides he really was not relishing that pick up.

"Vince only knows the jungle," said Naboo wisely. "He won't understand until we show him the streets. Also, we'll have to explain about toilets."

"Why couldn't we live in the country?"

"We'll visit there with him, but this is what we could afford. Also, his school is here."

"School?"

"He'll be starting late, but that's part of his fate."

"What fate?"

"I don't know."

"Naboo, I have a bad feeling."

"You always do," Naboo sighed.

Vince opened his owl sized eyes and smiled; then frowned as he realised all the familiar sounds and smells were absent. His bedding was strange too, soft, not firm like a branch or rustley like leaves. He tried to move, but he was tucked in too tight.

"Little prince, let me."

Strong arms came to his rescue and lifted him onto a comfortable lap. He snuggled up, happy to be with Big Bollo and grunting affection. Bollo grunted back.

Naboo gave them a few minutes before making his approach. Vince was puzzled by this stranger, who was so still in face and body. He could not read whether this blue animal was friendly or not.

"He's okay, Vince."

Trusting Big Bollo, the young Noir smiled shyly.

"Hello," he said in Xooberon. "I'm Vince."

"I'm Boo."

There was no smile and the voice had no warmth to it. There was an uncomfortable silence as Vince looked troubled, Naboo inwardly cursed his shamanic training and Bollo petted his child. The gorilla dared not display anger at his master, realising Vince would only be frightened further.

Naboo spoke first.

"I'm sorry, Vince. I do like you. Don't worry. I forgot. I'm not able to smile."

The brain cell flung its arms up in defeat, then collapsed over the desk. Vince stared at Boo in complete confusion. Bollo kept hold of Vince with one hand and face palmed with the other.

"Why?" asked Vince eventually.

"I mustn't. It's a rule."

"It's a bad rule," said Vince firmly.

Naboo stared and Vince smiled at him.

Bollo decided enough was enough.

"Come with me, Vince. You need breakfast."

"Thank you, Bollo."

Naboo moved aside and Bollo set Vince gently on the ground. Hand in hand, they left the room, chattering in ape.

"Bad rule," Naboo repeated softly.

**o - o **

_But there's one worse_, answered Vince, pausing the dream. _Don't touch me_. _It was you first. Then How... How... LLLLLLLLLL!_

"He's awake," cheered Tony. "Hey, Noir. Pick me up. I'm your fairy H-Man!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note**

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (single speech marks)_

Howard - normal (no speech marks)

A Virgin Noir

"Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up," chanted Tony. "Ignore the damn cats."

Vince sat up slowly, finally paying attention to the insistent voice. He was immediately distracted by the cats, purring a greeting to each and apologising for not being able to take them on his lap.

"That's okay. We know you're delicate. There's a monster under your bed."

"I'm not a monster!" raged Tony. "And I'm entirely claw free."

Vince peered over the side of the bed and curiosity took over.

_It's an oc-to-pus. Bright pink. And it's speaking..._

"Hello, I'm Vince. You're... Xooberon?"

"I'll answer all your questions," promised Tony, grinning. "Just SCAT the CATS and PICK me up."

"I won't if you're rude."

With his most innocent look, Tony apologised and managed, "Please."

Vince got off the bed and with care, scooped the shaman up. Tony thrilled, but was almost instantly set down and not in the Noir's lap.

"It wouldn't be fair," Vince explained.

Tony wanted to swear, but thought better of it.

Vince chose to sit in the chair so he could see everybody.

"Sorry for the... disturbance. I'm missing someone... so much... not that he'll believe it." Tears sparkled in his eyes and fell silently. He let them be. "But I'm his bad luck charm so..."

"You're not bad luck," answered Tony, slowly, firmly, clearly.

Vince stared at him. "Sorry, I didn't ask your name."

"It's Tony Harrison."

"And you're Xooberon?"

"Yes. I'm a Shaman."

"Like Naboo?"

"Yes, but unlike him, I'm perfectly happy to TOUCH and be TOUCHED."

Vince's dulled eyes registered panic and he scooted his chair back. Tony heard the cats hissing behind him and knew claws were being unsheathed.

"No, don't misunderstand. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm here to HELP you."

"Help me how?" asked Vince warily, glancing towards the door.

"You're a virgin, aren't you?"

Vince shrieked and fled the room. Tony rolled his eyes, then found himself surrounded by a cat guard. They jabbed ineffectually at his force field.

"This couldn't have gone worse," Tony groaned. "But a Noir being so frightened of his body. That's an outrage."

Bollo expertly captured Vince, who was completely incoherent and at a painfully high pitch. The gorilla patiently waited for his child to calm down before seating Vince on his hairy lap. Naboo entered just in time to hear the words, "rapist octopus." The shaman headed directly for the bedroom, feeling Bollo's eyes boring into his back.

"Out," Naboo told the cats. "I'll deal with this."

Reluctantly they all left and Naboo stared at Tony, not speaking. The pink Shaman squirmed as the silence became impossibly long. Then he shouted,

"I didn't touch him, alright!"

"Vince is... vulnerable right now."

"He's a _Virgin_," accused Tony.

"He's only just of age, you ballbag."

"But he's a _Noir._"

"He has those gifts, certainly, but unlike _you_, he doesn't go around ravishing everything in sight."

"What a waste!"

As Vince described what had happened, he felt hotter and redder than ever.

"Howard would have behaved better than that. I was rude."

"With reason, Vince."

"No. I ought to apologise."

"NO."

Vince became very conscious of Bollo's grip.

"Harrison bad. You stay safe. Put clothes on."

'_**Bollo right**_,' agreed the Brain Cell.

Vince suddenly noticed that his towel had dropped off and fainted.

"Well, what _DOES _he do?" asked Tony.

Naboo saw the glow around the octopus fade and grabbed him. Tony was temporarily speechless. Naboo carried him into the living room.

"WHAT!" spluttered Tony. "You're TOUCHING me! YOU!"

Naboo threw the incredulous Shaman at the door, knocking him cold.

Bollo took Vince back to the bedroom without comment. Naboo followed. He watched his familiar lay Vince down and feel the fevered forehead.

"I'm getting Howard."

The gorilla faced him.

"You're a bastard."

"I know."

"Take that... that _FREAK _away."

"Bollo..."

"Get out."

"I didn't arrange it."

"But he knew where we were."

"Vince didn't exactly make it a secret."

Bollo poked Naboo hard in the chest.

"Don't touch me," said the Shaman. "You fleabag."

Bollo lifted Naboo off the floor.

"You don't care about Vince or me or anyone. You're just like... Harold."

"Vince worries about us fighting."

Deflated, Bollo set Naboo down and returned his attention to Vince. There was a miniature Charlie beside him on the bed. The bubblegum monster growled. The care-rents sullenly left the room.

Naboo picked up Tony and led the way down a flight of stairs. Bollo stared around at the fittings for an empty shop. Naboo locked Tony inside a cupboard.

"What this?" asked the gorilla.

"Nothing yet. The priority is the flat."

They kept the counter between them as they continued the upstairs discussion.

"Listen. We all love Vince. That's why we need to compromise."

"Live with that ballbag?"

"Yes. And with each other."

"You're NOT going to trade me?"

"You know the answer to that."

Bollo nodded and pointed to the ceiling.

"He wouldn't really set Charlie on us."

"We've been warned. Give him space, yeah."

Above the cats were flowing back in and Charlie tolerated them to sit on the floor. Inside his mind, Vince was curled in a foetal position, eyes closed.

_Bad luck_, he mumbled. _My fault_.

Vince? asked a concerned Northern voice. Vince? Vince, it's me. Howard. I... I didn't know I could do this. I thought you... Vince?

'_**Vince**_.'

_Bad luck. My fault._

'_**Howard**__'__**s with you**__._'

I'm here, Vince.

_Bad luck. Broke us. Better without me._

I'm not sure what's brought this on or if you're listening, but Vince... I love you. And that isn't going to change. EVER.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note**

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (single speech marks)_

Howard - normal (no speech marks) / Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

Mind Touch

'**What's wrong**?' asked the Head Cell.

'_**Vince. He**'**s**_... _**foetal**_. _**Mumbling**_. _**He can't hear me or Howard either**_. _**He's created his own private hell and he's getting sick**_.'

An hour ago, Howard had delivered the monkeys into the hands of new keepers.

"I'm sorry," he explained to the dejected tribe. "Vince has returned to the Man Village. He won't forget you. He'll always love you. But you need a new king."

They swore their tails off and bit everybody's fingers. Howard had no regrets as he drove off, except for the empty seat.

"There's only one monkey I need in my life."

While Howard was anxious to get back to the Zooniverse, he knew better than to ignore his drooping eye lids. He pulled into a parking space at a beauty spot and stared out at the landscape, imagining a small, blond boy laughing as he ran between the trees, chatting up every creature that crossed his path.

"I was forever brushing leaves out of his hair. He had to splash in every puddle and roll down every hill, climb every tree. He didn't mind rips in his clothes or getting dirty. And apart from the animals, he only played with me."

A wistful Howard fell asleep and immediately his Head Cell picked up an urgent broadcast of purest misery.

'**It's Vince**.'

Vince?

Howard did his best to try and break through the tortured cycle of Vince's thoughts. He failed.

What do I do? If I could only hold him right now. Stroke his hair. Tell him I love him.

'**Could you**?'

Howard stared at the screen, which was projecting Vince's unattended dream. The four year old was playing with his breakfast slices of fruit, making patterns.

'He still does it. And he has a strict colour order. Yellow first, red last.'

When gently poked by Bollo, Vince ate the banana bits; then the apple segments and finally the strawberries. He drank raspberry juice. Bollo grunted approval. Naboo joined them at the table and simply watched. Vince smiled at the shaman.

Howard let out several expletives and mimed a strangling action.

Blue devil. What the hell was he thinking? If he isn't there when I get back...

_Bad luck. My fault, _droned Vince.

I'll come at him like a...

_Better without me._

That's not true, little man. Like a...

_Howard_?

Vince! Vince, little man, Mowgli, how can you think that?

_Howard, I'm sorry. I'm a rotten friend. I'm bad..._

No, you're not and I'm coming for you. I've missed you.

_I've missed you too but you mustn't. I'm a vampire and I'm going to suck away all your chances of being... someone._

That's nonsense, Sir. You and I are inseparable. We're going to be the best electro-jazz duo there is. The Mighty Boosh. I'll wear whatever you want me to.

_The dream's dead, Howard._

No, it isn't.

_And so is my hair._

As Vince began to sob, Howard stretched out a hand to an imaginary head and stroked. He frowned as a piece of barbed wire appeared in his fingers. He dropped it and repeating the gesture, received a long, spiky twig.

What? Vince? Is this from your hair?

The sobbing grew louder and Howard continued to remove spiteful objects until Vince's wolf howl woke them both up. The van sped off. Vince buried his face in the pillow, while furry bodies once more pressed up to him. A giant Charlie patrolled on the floor. Bollo shook his fist as the carpet finally took off from the roof. Tony recovered consciousness and discovered himself inside a small, enclosed space.

"This is an outrage," he growled. "Spurned by a Noir, beaten by Naboo. And all because of a bunch of mangy slag cats."

Howard drove as fast as possible, while still respecting speed limits and watching out for obstacles and pedestrians. Images of a tear stained Vince with horrible hair flashed at every stop.

"Why didn't they take a comb? There's always one in his pocket. Alongside that mirror and his precious phone."

The Head Cell recognised that Howard needed to rant without interruption. He clicked off the connection and concentrated instead on maintaining contact with the Noir cell, who was feeling completely out of his depth.

'**What's he doing now**? **Did Howard help any**?'

'_**It was too little, too late. Vince is**__...__** is**__... __**right on the brink**__.'_

"I love Howard," Vince muttered. "That's why I have to keep myself... Why I have never... But I can't have Howard because..."

'_**You CAN**_, _**Vince**_. _**You Can**_. _**Stop thinking like that**_.'

"I've brought him nothing but trouble. Of course he thinks that I'm... but all that happens is... and when I won't..."

While Vince proved himself the master of ellipses, Howard was now testing out every swear word he knew and realising that all would be completely wasted on Naboo.

"He'll just look at me and ask if I'm done. What I'd really like to do is punch him right on the jaw, but that wouldn't help Vince. In fact Vince would hate me if I did that. He really loves Boo. He worships Boo. Whatever reason Boo gives for this, or even if he gives none, Vince will forgive him."

Vince stood up and looked out of the window, the cats ranked behind him and Charlie positioning himself right in front of the door. With Vince so unpredictable, he had no intention of letting the Noir wander. He would use non-lethal gum if necessary. On the other side of the door sat Bollo, determined to rip off the limbs of anyone trying to get in, human, animal or alien.

"There must be something I did. Perhaps not when we were five, but... I mean he always scolded me. He had to or I wouldn't have done any work. The first time he was sick, I ran away. I met some stray cats. They showed me their alley and I was grooming them when...

_About Six_

"Vincent."

Vince glanced up from the purring Tabitha in his lap, eyes guilty. Boo stood with folded arms, Bollo with hand on hip. No further words were spoken. They just looked at him, Boo sternly, Bollo sadly. Vince put Tabitha down with a sigh.

"Goodbye. Thank you for showing me your home," he told his friends.

They rubbed against his ankles in affectionate farewell. Bollo beckoned. Vince walked to the gorilla and was immediately placed over a hairy shoulder. They delivered him back to Vince's new teacher, Mrs Burrows. In a small voice, Vince apologised.

"Vince," said Mrs Burrows firmly. "You have to attend school. You have to work. Those are the rules. Running away is very naughty. You can't always be with Howard. You have to make other friends."

"When will he be back?"

"When he's better. Now go and sit down."

Vince badly wanted to growl at her, but his care-rents eyes were upon him. He walked back to his desk and pretended to read.

Mrs Burrows turned her attention to Naboo.

"Next time you'll need to see the Head, Mr Shaman. Vince's conduct has always been a concern, but absence is serious."

"We understand. It'll not happen again."

Bollo gave Mrs Burrows a curt nod.

"I mean he's a lovely boy," she said rather nervously. "But he needs to mix more and learn to concentrate. He's far too dependent on Howard."

"We'll speak to him."

"We know you both care. You've attended all the meetings and all other absences have been authorised."

"Thank you. He's a handful, but he's..."

"Precious," Bollo growled.

The hairs on her neck stood up. "You know, there is help you can get."

"Vince doesn't need that kind of help. We're fine," answered Naboo, treading on Bollo's foot. "Good day to you, Mrs Burrows."

Vince heard the other children whispering and then giggling. He ignored them. Angela Burrows looked relieved when The Shamans were gone. Mike's lack of smile was disturbing enough, but Dave's monosyllables, combined with his huge size made him a source of worry for the entire teaching staff, not to mention other parents and pupils. Angela was certain that the reason Miss Wick had not coped was her old school methods. In fact Miss Wick had chosen early retirement rather than continue to teach the hyper Vince Noir for another year.

"It's not that he's a bad child," Miss Wick had hastened to say, "He can be really sweet and he's a wonder with our pets. He's brought Howard Moon well out of his shell, but Howard spends so much time helping Vince that his own work suffers. Neither of them can be bothered with the others though and they won't be separated. I did try and..."

Miss Wick visibly shuddered and said nothing more.

"Vince's care-rents?"

"You can judge them for yourself. They attend every appointment, _BOTH _of them."

Again she did not explain further.

Without Howard to give him _that look_, Vince chewed up an impressive amount of stationary while hardly putting pencil to paper. Apart from pet duty, the only other task he took seriously was art. Today he painted Howard and himself surrounded by cats and monkeys. And one gorilla. Boo had explained that it would be bad juju for Vince to paint him too. There was a lot that Vince did not really understand about Boo, much as he loved his blue care-rent. Bollo was always on hand to translate, but sometimes Boo tried to simplify things.

"If you're naughty, I'll call you Vincent."

"Okay."

"And then Bollo can deal with you."

"Hey," the gorilla protested, pulling Vince protectively into his lap.

"He's far too young for a back turning."

Bollo stared hard at Naboo.

"So what are you expecting me to do?"

"That's entirely up to you."

"Hmmph."

"It's about being a united front, Bollo."

"Bath time, Vince. Come on."

Vince giggled as his hairy hero carried him off. Naboo stared after them.

**o - o **

In the present day, Vince distinctly heard Tony chuckle inside his head.

"What a bloody short leash they kept you on. Outrage."

"Huh? What?"

"You always liked my bubbles, Vince_,_" said Naboo_._

"Yes, they were wonderful. But... how?"

"You really ran away because I wasn't there? Really, Vince. You can't last five seconds without me_."_

"Howard?"

"Yes. I'm at the zoo, waiting for Naboo."

"I'm almost there, you Northern freak," said the shaman mildly.

"Why did you do this you... you... there's no word for you_."_

"Reasons."

"I just knew you'd say that_."_

"Quit arguing inside my head," Vince complained.

"Sorry_,_" answered Howard_._

Naboo did not bother.

"Listen, Howard," said Vince earnestly. "You can throw the hair products away and burn the clothes. I don't need them anymore."

"I think you do, little man_."_

"I really don't."

"Of course you DON'T. You're a NOIR!" shouted Tony.

"Who the hell is that? Vince, you're clearly sick. Get to bed. I'll be with you soon_."_

"But..."

"No more words, Vince. Not until I can see you. Not until I can tou..."

"Howard?"

"Uh. Not until I can show you exactly how much... Just get to bed and Stop Thinking_."_


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note**

Internal Dialogue Guide

The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (single speech marks)_

Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

Outrage

Vince grabbed the pillow off the bed and sat on the floor with it carefully positioned.

"Come on then," he invited.

The cats queued politely, each taking their turn to be stroked. Vince listened to them purr, enjoying the feel of their fur, but he still could not summon up even the smallest of smiles.

"What's happening to me?" he wondered. "Howard's right. I do feel ill."

'_**Then do as you're told**_.'

"I'd rather sit here_._"

"You TWAT!" shouted Tony, drowning out the brain cell's lecturing. "You're all ALONE! In a BEDROOM! And you're stroking CATS!"

Vince recognised the voice and decided not to answer. He carried on stroking Selena, long haired and white. She had emerald eyes.

In his cupboard, Tony rolled his eyes and tapped his tentacles, before saying more patiently, "Listen. Maybe you and I got off on the wrong... limb. I just wanted to talk."

"Yes, I'm a virgin,"Vince answered coldly_. _"And I'm staying that way_._"

"But... but... Why?"

"Reasons. Personal."

"Don't tell me," Tony groaned. "You have a hopeless crush."

"There's... someone."

Calico, the tabby, brown eyed, mewed concern as she waited for his fingers. He scratched her in her favourite spot, between the ears.

"But he's allergic to touch."

"YOU... are so wasted."

Vince skilfully stroked Calico's coat.

"What... what do you mean?"

"Because TOUCH is your special talent," Tony explained. "It's instinctive, natural. It's your duty to make people happy. That's PEOPLE, not animals."

"I love animals. They love me back. It's so simple. With people... well, I get on with them... usually, but... only Howard..."

Vince was not certain how to properly express the beauty of Howard.

"They'd drop me if I didn't look... the way they want me to. They'd drop me right now in fact."

"Wanna bet?" scoffed Tony.

"It's all about the clothes you wear, the accessories, the proper hair style, the right music... but Howard... he's special. He... He really cares... even though I'm an empty headed nuisance who..."

Tony cut off the connection and made a retching noise.

"Urrrrrgh! I'm getting toothache. He's worse than treacle. And this Howard... nobody is that special. NOBODY!"

At the zoo, Howard was standing impatiently next to two suitcases, one medium and muffin, the other huge, red and covered with tatty, pop stickers.

"I'm not destroying anything, Vince Noir," he muttered. "Especially not your hair products. I heard you crying, Sir. And I pulled all that rubbish out."

'**Sometimes you surprise me**, **Howard Moon**.'

"Now don't start with all your..."

'**And you're going to hold him**, **yeah**?'

"I said..."

'**You went all bashful**.'

"Well, Boo was listening in and there was that..." Howard's eyes completely disappeared as he spat the word, "... Pervert!"

'**Have you thought**...?'

"Poke their eyes out."

'**Now don't get all**...'

Howard walked about, taking several deep breaths. He stopped in the middle and experimentally opened his arms wide.

'**Avoid strangling him and you'll have done fine**.'

"Hmm." Howard encircled the air and pulled an imaginary body close.

'**And remember**. **No shoving**.'

"Shoving?"

Howard felt a little sick as a long buried memory tried to escape. He forced it back downwards as he blustered, "I never shove, Sir. It is the ultimate act of impoliteness."

Head Cell kept quiet.

"It was an accident," Howard whispered. "I never meant..."

"Keep the lid on it, ballbag."

Howard jumped and turned around very slowly, his face completely white. Without a thought he shoved. Naboo stayed exactly where he was, expressionless.

"Don't do that again," warned the shaman.

Howard's lips moved silently and he jabbed with his finger, stopping just short of contact. He attempted to speak again, but what emerged instead was a growl fiercer than any wild beast he could name. His eyes blazed like tiny coals.

"Yes, that's all true," answered Naboo. "But we can't waste time. Got all his stuff?"

Howard nodded.

"Good. Follow me."

Howard lugged the suitcases outside and stared at the transport.

"Sit," ordered Naboo.

"Is this safe?"

Naboo rolled his eyes.

"Does it... fly?"

"Just get on and don't distract me."

Howard placed the luggage and it disappeared. Shrugging, he took his place behind the shaman, who gave an order in Xooberon. The carpet lifted and Howard got his last view of the place that had started so many adventures.

"Why couldn't we save it this time?" he wondered.

Naboo did not answer.

"I mean I won't miss Bob Fossil or Bainbridge, but that hut is the most homely place I have ever been in. And Vince..."

"Shut up, Howard."

"Just one question... Boo."

"Naboo to you."

"Who's the pervert?"

"You don't need to know. Don't worry. He's locked up."

"Did he touch?"

"No. Vince ran away."

"But what the hell was going on there?"

"Vince was daydreaming, that's all. Do I have to charm your mouth?"

Naboo's tone showed that he meant it. Howard stopped talking, although a million questions still buzzed around in his brain.

Meanwhile, Tony could resist no longer.

"Okay, Noir. I have to ask. What DO you DO with girls?"

"That's none of your business."

"With boys?"

"Listen, Mr Octopus..."

"OCTOPUS! What CHEEK! I'll have you know I'm highly advanced. I'm not one of your common earth breeds."

"Sorry."

"I'm Tony Harrison and don't you go forgetting."

"Well, I'm Vince. And if you're going to insult my friends all the time, then I have nothing to say to you. I'm waiting for Howard."

'_**Kick him out**. **You should be able to**_,' interrupted his Brain Cell.

"I don't have a clue what I'm doing. And if Howard finds me sitting on the floor, completely naked, either he or I'll faint. Probably both."

'_**Bollo's got your clothes in the other room**. **You wouldn't put them on**_.'

"Just how completely useless are you?" asked Tony.

"Get out of my head... you rapist."

Vince thrust out his hands as he mentally pushed, ejecting the pink menace.

Tony grinned. "We're getting on REALLY well. I'm CHARMED!"

'_**You're not useless**. **Of course you aren**'**t**. **Now**... **the clothes**_.'

"No. I... I can't see Bollo right now. He'll groom me."

'_**But Vince**_...'

"NO. I told you. I DON'T CARE. I used to but... I can't be that person anymore. Not if it means... I have to put Howard first."

'_**I**'**m not sure**_...'

Vince gingerly reached up, but lost his nerve.

"Howard only likes Mowgli, not Vince Noir."

'_**They**'**re both you**_.'

"No. I went wrong. All wrong."

He remained on the floor, still stroking the cats, while the tears flowed.

'**We**'**ll be there soon**. **Hold on**,' promised Head Cell.

'_**If he had scissors**_...' Brain Cell whispered.

'**Don**'**t think that**.'

'_**But he got rid of the octopus**_.'

'**What**?'

'_**Just a little more madness**_.'

'**We**'**ll sort it. Hold on**.'

Naboo knew that there were two tiny lasers aimed at the back of his head, burning.

"Howard..."

"Don't talk to me."

"Howard, perhaps I made a mistake."

"PERHAPS!"

"But your anger isn't going to help, is it?"

Howard huffed.

"Would you like to punch Bollo?"

"I'm not a lunatic."

After another period of silence, Naboo spoke again.

"Vince is very sensitive. He needs care."

"I'm not angry with Vince, Sir."

"But he thinks you are."

"What?"

"He confided."

"What? Why? Naboo!"

To Howard's frustration, Naboo kept his lips firmly closed.

"It was in confidence."

"I'll kill you."

"That would be ill advised. Howard, trust me. We both love Vince and we've both done things we regret. He isn't easy."

"But why do THIS?"

"Because I thought it would help him mature. I told you. He's a very rare Noir and there's much I don't know."

"He's a man like me. He's not a specimen."

"He's man-shaped."

"Stop weirding me out."

"He's naked."

"Ah. Well, that's YOUR fault."

"I'm trusting you, Howard."

"Moon's honour, Sir."

Naboo rolled his eyes.

"Ball bag."

Howard was thoroughly distracted for the rest of the trip, imagining a bare Vince and what positions he might find his friend in. The Head Cell kept his mouth shut.

I always look away when he changes his underwear, thought Howard. I'm not a perv.

"Naboo?"

"Hmm?"

"Is there a bath? Shower?"

"There's a sink and a jug."

"We'll make do, but Naboo, you're a shit."

Naboo landed the carpet outside the flat and they got off.

"Where's the luggage?" Howard asked.

Naboo gestured and the suitcases reappeared. Howard seized them. He waited silently while Naboo made the carpet roll up and shrink. It floated behind as they entered the boarded up shop and climbed the stairs. Howard stared in disbelief at the poorly furnished living room, the peeling wallpaper, the stains and cracks, the dust and cobwebs.

"This isn't ready for one person to live in, never mind three and a gorilla," Howard grumbled. "I'm going to take Vince to a hotel."

"He's in no condition to go anywhere."

"Then you and Bollo go."

Naboo raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not going to POUNCE on him!"

"Very well. All yours. Come."

Bollo glared at them both.

"Let him in," Naboo ordered.

The gorilla poked Howard in the chest.

"Harold make Vince cry. Harold bad."

Howard looked straight into Bollo's eyes.

"I'm here to put things right."

"He's the Keeper, Bollo," Naboo insisted. "Vince chose."

"Both of you bad."

"He needs me," Howard insisted. "And I... I need him too."

Bollo gripped Howard's shoulders.

"Precious Vince very scared. No touch."

"Moon's honour."

Bollo grunted and moved aside. Howard knocked. Vince recognised the knock and could not move. His voice refused to work. Howard opened the door anyway and found himself face to face with Charlie.

"Just you," said the monster.

"Er... hi."

Howard glanced nervously back at Naboo.

"You can do this, Howard."

"In," commanded Charlie.

With a very deep breath, Howard crossed the threshold and the cats parted for him like the red sea. Forgetting all about Charlie, Howard headed directly for their desolate charge. Vince's eyes were shut, but he knew that step. He held his breath.

"Hey," Howard said simply.

"You came," Vince answered, eyes still closed.

"Of course."

"I'm bad for you."

"No. You're not."

Howard sat beside his friend and took his hand. Vince opened his eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

Hair and Hands

Holding Vince's hot, lobster red hand, Howard dared to look directly into his best friend's eyes. They were without colour, without joy, without shine. Instead they were fearful, grieved, ashamed. His lips were straight as Naboo's.

"Vince...?"

"You... you don't have to stay with me, Howard. You're... free."

Howard fought the urge to slap Vince and shout at him for being so stupid. Instead he took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten. When he spoke his voice was still warm, but with a firmer note. He squeezed the precious hand tight.

"Vincent... I am EXACTLY where I want to be. No, don't say another word. I MEAN it. Listen, we need to have a talk, but first... I need to sort your hair out."

Vince's mouth began to flap uselessly and Howard gave him _the look_.

"But... but... but... How... you... you... hate..."

_The LOOK _intensified until Vince quietened and glanced away.

"Vince..."

When he glanced back, he saw only concern in Howard's gaze.

"And also," Howard continued bossily. "At least put your pants on. I'll bring them to you and I won't look. I promise."

"Thank you. I am pleased to see you. It's just that..."

"You're not comfortable," he interrupted gently. "Or confident. Wait here."

Giving a parting squeeze, Howard stood and walked briskly out, giving a nod to Charlie. The monster slithered back to his creator and shrank. Vince lifted him on to the pillow and said shakily,

"He... he called me Vincent."

"Just to make you listen. Don't fret."

Vince ran his fingers over Charlie's back.

"Do you think he remembers?"

"Remembers what?"

"What happened to us. What I... did."

"Vince, will you leave it alone?"

"I can't."

"You must."

Charlie disappeared and Vince turned his attention to the cats.

"Thank you for your care," he mewed.

Each of them came for a final stroke, before slipping out the window. Vince waited for Howard, worrying what else his friend might have learned.

Howard quickly explored the rest of the flat, discovering just how unsuitable it was, especially the barely equipped bathroom.

"He needs to be bathed and groomed. It's essential care. I'll do what I can, then I'm getting him out of here."

Returning to the living room, he found Naboo and Bollo sharing a hookah on the couch. He gave each of them a _look,_ but said nothing.

"We will go," said Naboo.

"That would be best."

"But, Howard, we'll know where he is."

"Keep _out_ of our heads."

"Learn to block."

"I haven't time for this," Howard snapped. "Just get out and leave Vince to me."

Naboo headed for the door, commanding Bollo and the carpet to follow. Bollo prodded Howard.

"Little Prince still mine."

"I know. But he's mine too. Goodbye, Baloo."

"It's Bollo."

Howard smiled in triumph and mimed a smoking gun.

"Got you. Chica, chica. Never mess with the Moon Maverick."

"Come on, you hairy ball bag," Naboo called.

Bollo reluctantly trailed after, wondering if Vince would ever forgive him and what further damage Howard would cause.

"Right," said Howard, clapping his hands smartly. "Just me and Vince." _All naked and waiting for_... "A HAIR WASH. And er... pants... obviously."

'**Obviously**...' sneered Head Cell.

"Shut up."

When Howard returned to the bedroom with the suitcases, he was relieved to see Charlie and the cats were missing. Vince was no longer on the floor; he was seated on the bed, whimpering.

"Vince..."

Without giving himself a chance to think, Howard instinctively settled beside his life time friend and began stroking Vince's bare back. The whimpers died away and were replaced by a quiet purring.

"Just a moment, Kitten."

Howard reluctantly stopped and retrieved the promised underpants. Vince thanked him and Howard turned away, smiling behind his moustache. The healing process had begun. Vince shyly brushed the back of Howard's jacket. Instead of receiving the usual rebuff, he found himself enveloped in a tender embrace.

"I've been taking you for granted," Howard apologised. "And I've said stupid things. No, don't speak. Vince, don't you ever... Sorry, this isn't the right time to lecture. Can I touch your hair?"

Vince could not help himself. Returning the embrace, he giggled.

"Sorry, Howard. Since when have you needed to ask?"

Without answering, Howard buried his fingers in the neglected locks. Immediately Vince projected a memory to prove his point.

_About Five_

"Run with me, Howard?"

Without waiting for an answer, Vince pulled free of Howard's arm hold, dropped to all fours and scampered across the playground. Howard stared and muttered,

"He really IS a puppy."

Vince dodged around the legs of startled pupils, making happy yips and yaps. When Howard caught up, Vince was rolling in the grass underneath the line of trees. Tutting, Howard helped his friend up.

"What ARE you doing?"

"Playing. I love leaves. They're pretty. They make a great noise. And they used to be my bed."

"You'll get dirty."

"I like dirt."

"Well, Miss Wick doesn't."

As he scolded, Howard patiently removed all the leaves tangled in Vince's hair.

"What would your care-rents say?"

Vince giggled nervously.

"Bollo fusses."

"I thought so. Show me your hands."

Vince stood quietly while Howard inspected each palm. They were not scraped, but he took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped them thoroughly.

"But you should wash them properly before we go in class."

Vince grinned. Howard remained solemn while he focused on brushing leaves off his friend's uniform. The bell rang.

"Come on, Pup."

Howard grasped Vince's arm.

"Thank you, Howard."

"Behave now."

"Okay."

Howard ruffled Vince's hair and smiled.

**o - o**

_You were cute_, _Howard_.

_Alright_.

_Still are_.

_Thanks_.

**o - o**

Retaking the smaller boy's arm, Howard shepherded Vince back across the playground and into line. The other pupils whispered, but carefully avoided eye contact with the pair.

"Jahouli used to lick me clean," confided Vince.

Howard stared at him.

"The leopard?"

"I was too small for the river. I would have drowned."

As he spoke, Lance and Leroy were walking past. They stopped.

"What's that, Noir?" Lance sneered. "Parents try to drown you at birth?"

"Like a stray cat?" Leroy joined in.

"Ignore them," said Howard firmly.

Vince growled.

"Gonna bite?" asked Lance.

"You'd give him stomach ache," answered Howard, tightening his hold.

"You two freaks belong in a zoo," said Leroy. "Come on, Lance."

**o - o**

_I forgot how horrible they used to be_, Vince commented.

_People do change_, answered Howard, his fingers still exploring his best mate's barnet. _They grow up and they learn better_.

To his satisfaction, Vince purred loudly when Howard reached his scalp. The memory skipped forward.

**o - o**

"I don't bite people!" squeaked Vince in the toilets, hands clenched into fists. "And I'm not a freak. Why do we have to come here?"

"Calm down. Wash your hands."

Howard was giving him the _LOOK_, so Vince obeyed.

"Now dry them."

Vince smiled as he scrunched the paper towel and tossed it at the bin. It missed. Howard tutted and made Vince pick it up.

"We have to go to school. It's the rules. Now come on."

Howard smiled at Vince before taking hold of him again.

"Okay, Howard."

They arrived in the classroom and sat at their desk just in time to avoid being marked as late. Miss Wick gave each a severe look, but said nothing. Howard squeezed his best friend's hand. The recollection ended.

**o - o**

"You didn't get mad at me," said Vince, his eyes filling with tears again.

Howard froze in his detangling as a horrid realisation hit him.

"Vince..."

"Or hit me."

"Oh, Vince. How long...?"

Lost for words, he withdrew his hands and held Vince very close, stroking his hair; while the smaller man pressed his face to Howard's chest, arms slipping around naturally.

"This is too cute," Tony complained, getting into both their heads. "Hi, Howard. I'm..."

"You!"

"Octopus."

"Tony Harrison. I'm NOT an octopus. Now... Howard, you need to..."

"Howard's taking care of me just fine."

"He's _dressed_."

"So?"

"Useless, the pair of you."

"Together we're a match for you," Howard answered. "Right, Vince?"

"Right."

Vince looked up at Howard, eyes now a pale blue. He managed a very small smile. On an impulse, Howard kissed the distinctive nose. Vince's eyes sparkled and turned a shade brighter. The smile broadened, then Vince giggled.

"Maybe," whispered Howard, eyes twinkling. "Since you like giggling so much..."

"HEY," Tony shouted.

"Vince, the last thing we need is an audience. One. Two. NOW!"

They both mentally shoved as hard as they could, not only ejecting Tony, but giving him a massive headache.

"I'm too weak to block," apologised Vince.

"You're getting better and I'm going to help. Let's build a crimp barrier. He'll never bother us again."

Howard started off a crimp about the alphabet, while continuing to tame the tangles in Vince's hair. Every time Vince purred, the maverick felt a glow of pride. They kept strictly to crimps from their childhood, some educational, others pure nonsense. When Tony next tried to intrude, he was confounded and annoyed by the entwined mesh of harmonised randomness. He could not penetrate to the thoughts beneath, finally giving up in disgust.

"Vince, don't you ever neglect yourself again. It's not what I want. Okay?"

"Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."


	18. Chapter 18

Noir Care

"Bollo..."

There was no answer, not even a stern grunt. Just the eyes... penetrating.

_I felt more comfortable with Howard_, the shaman thought, steering the carpet randomly. _At least he still trusts me a little. But this gorilla_...

"Bollo, he loves you. He..."

"Grr."

"But he needs Howard right now."

"Unt."

Naboo gave it up and became lost in his own memories of life with a small Noir.

_About 5_

Vince sat on Bollo's lap, staring at Naboo with wide eyes. The Shaman was holding Miss Wick's letter, unopened.

"Right, Vince. I'm pleased that you met Howard. That's a good thing."

Vince nodded.

"But it's important that you get on with your teacher. And other pupils."

Vince nodded again.

"So, what did you get into trouble for?"

Vince thought hard.

"Mouse," he said quietly.

"Class pet?" asked Naboo.

"Yes. She's called Cynthia. There's Ralph the rabbit too. And George the hamster."

"You talked to them."

"Yes. Miss Wick didn't like it."

With careful questioning and a lot of patience, Naboo finally got the whole story. He also asked about Lance and Leroy.

"They were being mean."

"Vincent, you still shouldn't hiss at them. It's rude."

"I wasn't going to spit."

"Well, that would be worse. But don't hiss, okay?"

"Can I growl?"

"No hissing or growling. They're human. Speak human."

"I did. But they pushed Howard. And I growled. I couldn't help it."

"Hmm."

"And I'm NOT SORRY!"

As he shouted, Vince made little fists and looked suddenly feral. His skin flared red. Neither care-rent said anything, but they exchanged a glance.

"I'm not," Vince repeated firmly. "Next time I'll... I'll BITE."

Bollo gently laid his _child _down and tickled him for five minutes. Observing and listening to the infectious giggles and pleas, Naboo felt a peculiar sensation. Ever so slightly, his lips twitched.

The gorilla sat Vince up again. Naboo waited for the young Noir to calm before touching him on the knee.

"Let that be a lesson to you."

"Sorry," Vince answered.

"It's your bed time. I know school's strange for you, but you have to go."

"That's okay."

"We'll see how tomorrow goes."

After Bollo had bathed Vince, using Naboo's special, rainbow bubble mix and extra sensitive shampoo, they read him a story and tucked him up with Noel the monkey.

"Goodnight, Vince. We love you."

Bollo stroked his hair, Naboo gently touched his cheek.

"Night, Boo. Night, Bollo."

He was asleep almost instantly. They watched for a while before quietly leaving the room. The gorilla poked Naboo and growled,

"I've got a bad feeling about Harold."

Naboo folded his arms.

"I've told you before. Don't poke me. And it's Howard."

"I don't like him."

"Howard seems to be only reason Vince stayed in school."

"Grunt."

"You're jealous, Bollo."

Before the gorilla could respond, a globe on the coffee table glowed and made a ringing sound. Naboo walked slowly over and tapped it.

"Hello?"

"Naboo," answered a stern voice. "You have ignored the Summons."

"Dennis, I don't have time for the Council right now. Something very precious is in my possession. I have real responsibility."

"The thing that Saboo and Tony claim you stole from them."

"They had no intention of taking care of him."

"Him?"

"Vince Noir."

"Naboo, a Noir is potentially dangerous. He needs to be quarantined. Studied."

"He's a baby and he just needs to be loved."

Dennis sighed.

"On your head be it, Naboo."

The globe burst.

Naboo used a few choice descriptions of the dominant members of the Board before settling down to read Miss Wick's letter.

"What it say?" asked Bollo.

Naboo signed the slip at the bottom.

"Nothing much," he told the gorilla. "Just that she wishes to arrange a meeting to discuss behaviour issues."

Bollo folded his arms.

"Vince just being Vince. He not bad."

"We know that, but we understand him. And so does Howard apparently."

"Grrr."

"We have to support Vince's choices. Animals love him to bits, but humans have very complicated rules. He's never been angry with anyone before. He hasn't been in trouble. He coped well, considering."

When they arrived at the school gates the next morning, Howard was waiting anxiously. He smiled shyly at them all, receiving a big beam from Vince, a "Hello, Howard." off Boo and nothing at all from Bollo. He waited for Vince to finish hugging his scary care-rents goodbye, before closing his fingers around his friend's free arm. Keeping a very close eye out for Leroy and Lance, they headed to join their line, whispering together.

"You see," growled Bollo. "He's far too possessive."

_Takes one to know one_, thought Boo.

**o - o**

At the Dalston flat, Howard was totally absorbed in his task of finding out exactly how his Vince liked to be touched. The scalp was favourite, he liked Howard's unique hair taming a lot and he was currently enjoying a Moon massage.

"Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

Apart from the occasional growl, when Howard would immediately try a different spot or technique, purrs and giggles had been the only Noir sounds heard. They had exhausted their childhood crimps, but Tony had made no further attempts to guide them. Howard wondered if he ought to enquire further about the octopus. An image of a weird pink head with tentacles flashed up for him.

"See. Octopus_._"

"Um. Yeah. I see."

"He's from Xooberon. Like Naboo_._"

"Okay. That's all I need to know. Really."

"And he hates cats."

"Right."

Realising that Howard's fingers had frozen, Vince took down the visual and stopped talking. Letting his mind go completely blank again, Howard flipped his friend over and checked the condition of the eyes. They were almost back to full glory. His skin was paling too. The grin came very easily indeed.

"So? Do you want to wash my hair, Howard?"

"Yeah. But I don't understand your products."

"Then use yours."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Howard gave Vince a strange look, but got out his two in one bottle anyway.

"Hey, Howard."

"Yeah?"

"Your jacket might get wet."

"Good point. I suppose I..."

"I won't touch your chest. I promise."

"Don't be silly, Vince. I'm not worried about that."

Vince looked doubtful. Everything was so perfect. He did not want to risk screwing it all up again with a single, misplaced finger. He stayed lying down while Howard guiltily removed his jacket and undershirt.

"Come on, Kitten."

The moment Vince was stood up, Howard pulled him into another hug.

"See. This is... perfectly... okay."

The release was too quick, but Vince appreciated the gesture.

"Er... we'll need a towel too, Howard said.

"Well, yours is already open so..."

Without arguing, Howard fished out his softest towel and picked up the shampoo. Vince followed him to the bathroom and frowned at the primitive conditions.

"Yes. I know," Howard agreed.

"But... not even a shower? The zoo had better... Oh, Howard. I miss the zoo and I never got to say goodbye."

The tears were pricking again.

"And it's my own fault for losing control."

Howard held him again for longer.

"No. No, Vince. You mustn't think... You mustn't blame... The zoo isn't your fault."

"What about us, Howard? What did I do wrong? When did we...? All I can think is..."

Howard wiped the stray tears with his fingers.

"Shhh. Calm down, Kitten. Let's wash your hair. You'll feel better."

Howard carefully filled the jug, checking the temperature, before instructing Vince.

"Right. Just bend your head and keep your eyes closed. Are you ready? Here you go. Now step back and I'll refill."

Howard kept talking, keeping his voice gentle, reassuring. He had never realised just how much pain Vince could store up and keep hidden. The news about the zoo had burst the dam and out it had all come. And what had he, Howard Moon, gone and done? Made everything worse, that's what. He had scolded Vince for having an honest reaction, scared him, rejected him, denied that their time together was special, that the zoo meant just as much to Howard, as to Vince.

_I don't know what to say, how to explain. It's so wrong that I treat him the way I do. It's not his fault. He's still a child, but because he's grown, I forget. I'm the idiot._

He tipped more water over Vince's head, keeping his guilt carefully shielded.

_He's right. I used to be so patient and I never let him think he was a nuisance. I took pleasure in everything he said, everything he did. Now I... I can't control my temper. I lash out. He doesn't deserve that. When I think about the Tundra... He could have died. But he still thinks I'm worth saving._

Vince kept his eyes and mouth firmly closed. After several jugfuls, Howard passed over the towel. Vince carefully dried his face.

"Ready for the shampoo?" Howard asked.

Vince smiled.

"Yes. You're a pro, Howard."

"Thanks."

Making certain he reached the scalp, Howard massaged until he was satisfied not a single hair had escaped. Vince purred stronger than ever.

_About Five_

The moment they heard the cries of fear and shame, Naboo and Bollo rushed to their child's bedside. Red faced, he stared up at them.

"Sorry."

Bollo wrinkled his nose, but Naboo did not hesitate. He picked Vince up.

"It's okay, Vince. It's not your fault. You come with me. Bollo, see to the sheets."

In the bathroom, Naboo set Vince down and turned on the taps. Continuing to reassure, he undressed the young Noir and tenderly washed him. Bollo arrived with fresh pyjamas. He placed them on the radiator, gave Naboo an incredulous look, then took away the soiled.

"There now. You're all clean. Out you come."

Gently, he dried Vince and helped him into the pyjamas. They were blue with dancing monkeys.

"Thank you," Vince whispered.

Naboo looked at his adopted son and without any discomfort he first smiled, then said warmly, "I love you, little one."

Vince smiled back, his eyes sparkling, then shyly gave his guardian a hug.

"I love you, Boo.

Naboo endured the hug for far longer than usual. Concerned, Bollo came back to check on them.

"I've changed the bed."

Vince released Naboo and hugged the gorilla. The shaman recovered his dignity and let Bollo take over.

"There now, Vince. You're all clean and safe. Back to bed now. You're getting cold."

Bollo scooped up His child, gave Naboo a suspicious look and walked out in a distinct huff. Naboo rolled his eyes.

_The trouble with small Noirs_, he thought, following, _is that they're highly addictive. Bollo resents me, he resents Howard. He'd like Vince all to himself. But if the mythology is true, then that will never be possible._


	19. Chapter 19

Shy

"Right. I'll rinse you," said Howard, withdrawing his hands reluctantly.

"Will you dry it after?" asked Vince eagerly.

"Um... yes. But if you need anything special doing, you're the expert."

Vince turned round to face his friend and said softly, "There's nothing. Howard..." Without thinking, Vince reached out and stroked Howard's chest. Receiving no reproof, he kept his hand there, while the maverick smiled encouragingly.

"The only special I need is... It's you, Howard. I need you."

"Okay. I need you too. But Vince... don't think that you... that you..."

Howard lost himself in those eyes, unable to finish.

"Er... we'll talk after. Let's get you done."

Vince let his hand linger for a little longer, sensing that he should not waste a second of this rare Moon mood. Not only had he not said the dreaded words, he was looking right at Vince and still smiling. Howard was... relaxed!

_It feels okay_, Howard thought. _Nice. What was I afraid of_?

'**That one touch would lead to another**,' supplied Head Cell.

_That was rhetorical_, _Sir._

Aloud, he said, "Vince, you look like a yeti. The sooner you're rinsed, the sooner we can get you... well, back to you."

Vince sent a question to his brain cell.

_Back to me_?

The cell was too exhausted to help; so Vince simply grinned and prepared to endure the rinse. Howard was even more thorough than fussy Bollo.

Afterwards, Howard's effort with the towel was not well liked.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

"Behave," said Howard mildly. "Now, I don't have a dryer. YOU do."

"Towel's fine," answered Vince; snatching it and skilfully crafting a turban.

"No, it isn't. Vince... I'm seriously worried. What are you thinking?"

The Noir did not answer. He walked ahead into the bedroom. Howard wondered how the turban held together like that; then hurried after his friend.

"Listen, Vince. I know I tease you, but you shouldn't take it to heart. You really shouldn't. Now, are you going to open your suitcase?"

"Can I look through yours?"

"No," said Howard firmly, reading Vince's mind. "There's nothing in there that's your style or your colour. Besides, they'd drown you."

"YOU'VE done that!"

Vince placed his hands on his hips and glared.

"I meant they're too big," Howard answered. "And if you don't do as you're told, I'll come at you like a feather duster."

Howard wriggled his fingers menacingly, making Vince cross his arms over his exposed chest.

"You wouldn't," he squeaked.

Howard stepped purposefully forward.

"Hmm. Now where would your soft spots be? Under the arms? Your feet?"

"Eeek. No. Don't."

"Well then..."

Vince stuck out his tongue and turned to undo his suitcase.

'**Tough**, **aren**'**t you**?' mocked Head Cell.

_He needs to put on his butterfly wings_; _not dress like a grub_, thought Howard.

"Howard, these straps are tight," Vince complained.

"Tsk."

"So can't I...?"

Howard silenced him with a gentle pat on the bottom.

"Let me, Vince. Honestly."

Giggling, the Noir stood aside. Howard opened the straps easily; then ran the two zips round.

"Right," he said, giving his friend the _look_. "All you need do is raise the lid." He wriggled his fingers again. "Or _else_."

Vince could not bear the thought of being tickled, curious as he was about these hidden talents of Howard. With an exaggerated sigh, he flicked up the lid and gently fingered the scarlet blouse on top.

"See?" said Howard softly. "You've missed them."

"Yes, I have," Vince admitted, lifting it out.

"And that is definitely your colour."

"Howard?"

Vince turned round and asked shyly.

"Do you really like it?"

"Yes," said Howard sincerely. "Red is..."

'**Foxy**,' piped up Head Cell immediately.

"... beautiful on you," finished the jazz maverick, blushing.

Vince slipped it on and invited Howard to do up the buttons. Howard's fingers suddenly felt very big and clumsy, but he heard himself agreeing. Slowly, carefully, glancing at Vince after each success and receiving _that smile_, Howard fastened the blouse. For a reward, Vince kissed every one of his best friend's fingers. Then he swept off his turban and touched the still damp hair beneath.

"Howard," he confessed, looking up at his nervous attendant. "I love you. I always have. I always will. Thank you."

"I love you too, little man. And you ARE good for me. Don't doubt that. All my good times, Vince, they've been with you."

Eyes sparkling with happy tears, Vince hugged his Howard and was warmly hugged back for the longest time yet.

Afterwards, Howard untangled the dry Noir barnet with his fingers and combed it straight. Vince purred contentment and still refused to consider his products.

"I'm not going out and besides it would spoil my Moon do."

"Vince, you haven't checked in the mirror. Maybe you better."

"Don't be daft, Howard. It's perfect."

"Well, thanks."

"And I'm completely out of touch with the fashion world anyway."

"I'll bet your phone's full of messages. I don't mind if you..."

'**Getting shy**, **Moon**?' scoffed Head Cell.

"No. I'll be old news," Vince answered. "And I don't really care. They won't either."

Letting the matter drop, Howard watched Vince reunite with several items of clothing, trying each one on and experimenting with shapes. It was mesmerising. Fortunately the Zooniverse jacket was hidden in Howard's suitcase.

_He_'_s vulnerable yet_, Howard thought. _But at least he_'_s stopped worrying about us_. _Where are we going though_? _I_'_m not sure what he wants_. _Least of all what I want_. _But we_'_re friends forever_. _Definitely_.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note **- Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr to all of you lovely readers & reviewers. x

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (_single speech marks_)_

Howard - normal (no speech marks) / Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

Bedtime

After drifting aimlessly for a while, remembering how a small Vince had well and truly captured his heart, Naboo headed for Pete's place.

"Sure you can have the spare room," said his mate, barely blinking at Bollo. "I owe you one."

"Thanks," Naboo answered shortly, heading up. Bollo shook Pete's hand, making him wince; then stomped after the shaman.

While Naboo sat cross legged on the bed, eyes closed, Bollo plonked himself on the floor, deliberately facing away. The gorilla hugged himself tightly, eyes glazed with grief. _Vince need Bollo_, _not big bully Harold_. _And Bollo need_...

"You ready to talk?" asked Naboo, almost nervously.

"NUH."

"Bollo..."

"nuh...nuh...nuh."

"You and Vince will be fine. I'm more worried about you and..."

"RAAAAAAAAH!"

Naboo opened his eyes, rolled them and got off the bed. With caution, he walked up to his familiar and sat beside him. Long minutes passed by with neither saying anything until Naboo placed a hand on Bollo's leg.

"Gerroff," the gorilla growled. "Only Vince touch Bollo."

His shaman took no notice. He stroked the leg.

"Grrrrrrr," cautioned Bollo again.

"Bollo, you do know that I...?"

"No."

"That I need you. That I..."

"You never say it."

"Well I do."

"Hmm."

"Truly."

Bollo sighed, stood and faced Naboo; looked deep into the shaman's eyes.

"Yes," Boo repeated. "Truly."

He hugged the gorilla and was swept off his feet in response.

"Put me down, you hairy lump."

"Mine," said Bollo firmly. "MINE."

Boo had no breath left to argue. _Gorillas_.

**o - o **

Meanwhile Howard, still bare chested, was carrying a mildly protesting Vince to the couch. The Noir was wearing a red tee shirt and blue underpants. The rest of his clothes were scattered all over the bedroom.

"But How... ard... I've had plen... ty of sleep. Too much. I..."

Once more he yawned and Howard chuckled.

"Little man, what you need is dreamless sleep and I'll make sure you get it."

"Mmmmmm," sighed Vince contentedly as he was laid down.

Howard swept back his friend's fringe and kissed the precious forehead.

"Prrrrrrrrrr."

Vince smiled up at Howard, but could hardly keep his eyes open.

"And don't worry," Howard promised. "We're staying right here."

"Prom...ise?"

"I promise." Then, speaking slowly, deliberately; he added, "Now, Vince. No dreams. No memories. Just sleep."

"Mmmm.

'**Howard**,' his Head Cell interrupted. '**What the hell**?'

"And I'll most definitely be seeing you later."

"Thanks, Howard. Look forward to... mmm. Love you."

"I love you too, Jungle Kitten."

The maverick gazed down at his sleeping beauty for a long time before remembering the mess in the bedroom. There he contentedly refolded all Vince's clothes, scatting to himself and completely ignoring all nagging thoughts.

'**Howard**? **Howard**? **Howard**?' raged Head Cell. '**What** **have you done**? **Are you crazy**? **Why**'**s** **he on the couch**? **Howard**!'

He packed the clothes back in the battered, red suitcase, fastened it back up and placed it against the wall. After removing his trousers, Howard secured his suitcase too and lay down on the bed. He closed his eyes.

'**He**'**s** **not glued there**.'

"Shut up. If he comes in here I know exactly how to deal with him, Sir. But he won't."

'**He might**.'

"Then he'll take the consequences."

'**Which** **would be**?'

Refusing to answer, Howard fell asleep. Head Cell smirked and was silent.

**o - o **

After being squeezed nearly to death, Naboo found himself wondering how little Vince had survived. As a further indignity, he was now a prisoner on Bollo's lap.

"Erm..."

The grip was gentle, but likely to tighten at the slightest wriggle.

"...Bollo?"

The gorilla grinned.

"Bollo, it's time for bed. Let me up."

"Nuh."

"Behave, you silly ape."

"Nuh."

_Best part about the Zoo_, Naboo thought, _was Bollo caged_.

"Bollo," he said wearily. "What are you after?"

"Bollo got bad feeling. When we go back?"

"Don't nag."

The grip subtly altered.

"When?" Bollo demanded.

"Soon as we can. Not tonight though. Hey!"

Bollo looked down at the shaman, now lying flat.

"Bollo, let's get this straight. You're my familiar and you should mind me."

"Just go to sleep, Boo."

"Naboo to you."

"I love you too."

"Yeah."

**o - o **

Vince collected Charlie from the library and chatted non-stop on the way to Memory Theatre. He was wearing the scarlet blouse that Howard liked, combined with black drainpipes and silver sandals. The spring was back in his step, his beautiful eyes shone and his hair had never felt cleaner.

_I_'_ll_ _ask him to dye it for me_. _So it can match my name_, _Noir_. _Do you think he might let_ _me do his_? _The colour's right_, _but it really does need tidying up_. _And if he says no_, _maybe I could do it in secret_, _yeah_? _Be his midnight barber_. _And I can help him_ _choose an outfit too_. _Get him noticed_. _I mean_, _he_'_s_ _the special one_.

'You're special, Vince,' Charlie broke in.

'_**You**_'_**re**_ _**Noir**_,' the Brain Cell agreed, finally raising himself.

_I_'_m a freak_.

'_**You certainly are NOT**_.'

_Thanks_, _but_... Vince shook off the cloud that was threatening to cover him, as a phantom hand suddenly stroked his hair. _Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_.

In a corridor of his own mind, Howard smiled in triumph. A simple purr. No nasty objects of any kind. He gestured again, just to make sure.

_Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr._

Kitten, where are you off to?

_Um_... _hi_, _Howard_. _I was_... _er_... _Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_. _How are you doing that_?

I'm Howard Moon, sir. It's a special talent.

_You haven_'_t_ _a clue_.

Well... what matters is that I CAN, Vince. Now...?

_Memory Theatre_. _But_, _listen_. _I was just going to lie on the carpet_. _It_'_s_ _extra thick_.

Vince felt a light smack on his bottom and squeaked surprise.

_Don_'_t do that_, _Howard_. _Hey_, _if you can touch me_...

I forbid you, Vincent Noir.

_Why_?

Because...

"Noir," whispered Tony. "Little Noir."

Oh, shit.

_What do you want_?

Get him out, Vince!

_No_, _wait_.

"Word to the dumb. He's in the next room. In bed."

_Yeah_?

I'd like to be under the sea in an OCTOPUS'S GARDEN, sang Howard.

_Shut up_, _Howard_.

"Arrrgh. He's IN BED. Right NEXT door and YOU'RE... You complete numbum!"

Vince was nonplussed.

_Well_, _we would be in the same room_, _but there's only one bed and_..."

Tony took a deep breath.

..._Howard wouldn_'_t_ _be comfortable on the couch_. _Me_, _I_'_m_ a cat. _I can sleep anywhere_. _So can Bollo_. _I wonder where he's got to_. _And Naboo_.

When Tony began swearing his tentacles off, Vince harmonised with Howard, banishing the frustrated shaman. The maverick sighed with relief.

_So why can_'_t_ _I touch you_? Vince persisted.

Because I like to know EXACTLY where your hands are going, Sir.

As Vince continued to argue, his felt his free arm gently gripped. The other was carrying Charlie. His invisible Howard guided him to the Quiet Zone, where there was a generous sized hammock hanging and piped jungle sounds. Vince lifted Charlie in and after receiving a most unusual hug, meekly climbed in himself.

You're in time out until morning, said Howard sternly.

_This is weird_, _Howard_.

I know, but go with it.

_Goodnight then_, _you brown freak_.

Goodnight, Vincent.

_Grrr_.

In his Jazz Jacuzzi, Howard smiled. He sent over a kiss for Vince's cheek.

_I mean Prrrrrrrrr_. _Thanks_, _Howard_.

Any time, little man.

_But I will figure this out_.

Just you try.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note **– This final chapter is dedicated to Concupiscence66, CherryTroi, IceySummer02 and WearerOfCapes for all their dedication and sweetness. Your reviews encouraged me a lot. So thank you.

Also hugs to everyone who has favourited/followed. : )

PS - Don't worry. There's a sequel to follow. I just felt that 21 chapters was long enough. Loose ends deliberate.

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - **_italic_**_ (_single speech marks_)_

Howard - normal (no speech marks) / Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

Forever Mine

_WHY CAN_'_T_ _I DO IT_?

Vince was more frustrated than he had ever been before.

_HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS_. _RRRRRRRRRRRRR_. _GRUNT_.

'_**Hey**_. _**Calm down**_, _**Vince**_. _**Maybe you**_'_**re**_ _**trying too hard**_,' suggested his Brain Cell.

'You can touch him in the morning,' Charlie pointed out.

"Yeah, with your REAL HANDS," contributed Tony. "Listen. Get into bed with him. And then..."

_Are you mad_? _He_'_d_ _KILL me_. _OUT_!

Vince psy-punched the alien effectively; then tried once more to caress Howard. He waited for a reaction, encouraging or otherwise, but none came. Vince sighed and concentrated instead on the sounds from his babyhood. He smiled as he thought about Jahouli.

_I was lying on my back_, he told Charlie._ And he came over and sniffed me_. _He licked my face_. _I wasn_'_t_ _scared_. _His tongue was all tickly_. _I laughed_. _He curled all round me and I felt so_ _warm and safe_. _Just like I do with Bollo_. _I hope Bollo comes back soon_. _I need my gorilla hugs_. _They_'_re_ _the best_. _Bryan never hugged me_. _Naboo lets me put my arms_ _round him_, _but he doesn_'_t_ _hug back_. _Howard_... _I love being in his arms_. _He_'_s_... _gentle_. _Like he fears I_'_ll_ _break_. _But when I_'_m_ _there_... _it_'_s_ _where I want to be_... _forever_. _And his kisses_. _They make me feel so_... _so_... _prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_.

**o - o **

Meanwhile, Howard was slowly making his way to his own Memory Theatre.

'**Why**'**s** **it okay for YOU**, **but not for HIM**?' demanded Head Cell stubbornly.

Howard only tutted in response.

'**It**_'__**s **_**your own hands**, **you don**'**t trust**.'

It wasn't fair of me to smack him, but the rest he liked.

'**That**'**s not an answer**.'

True.

'**You liked his real hands**.'

I could SEE them.

'**That isn**'**t** **the point**.'

Leave me alone.

'**Just don**'**t underestimate him**. **You**'**ve** **set him a challenge**.'

Yes. But some risks are worth taking.

'**You mean you want him to**?'

Ye... NO! No, he doesn't have the concentration, the control or the... No. It's a Moon skill. And he's a Noir.

**Ri**..**i**..**i**..**ght**.

**o - o **

At Pete's place, Bollo's lap proved so comfy that despite himself, Naboo was soon soundly asleep. The gorilla watched him for a while; then a mischievous gleam came into the familiar's eyes. As gently as possible, he removed Naboo's turban and expertly groomed the dark hair beneath. Lacking the sensitivity of Vince, the shaman did not stir. Encouraged, Bollo stripped off the outer robe, the inner robe, the under layers; until Naboo was just in his pants. Delighted to have got this far, Bollo chuckled deeply and Boo opened one eye.

"Sorry. Shh. Go back to sleep," the gorilla urged.

"You. Hairy. Horror."

Both eyes were open now and glaring.

"Bed," answered Bollo.

"Stop pretending I'm Vince."

"Boo mine too."

"NAboo," corrected the shaman wearily, as he was carried over to the bed. "And you're..."

Snuggled close to the gorilla, Naboo was asleep again.

"...just like Vince," Bollo murmured.

He tucked up Naboo, before making himself a nest out of the clothes pile.

**o - o **

Howard settled into his reclining chair and gingerly picked up the remote.

'**What are you looking for**?' his Head Cell asked, panicked. '**Don**'**t** **go torturing** **yourself**. **That never helps**.'

**o - o **

_13_

Howard pressed play and saw himself and Vince holding hands in the playground of their new school. The smaller boy was chattering about his imaginary friend, Charlie, a pink, bubblegum beast.

"He's got a huge moustache and he wears a hat. He keeps me company when I'm asleep. He can change his size and he's all bumpy, but not sticky. Imagine that."

Howard smiled indulgently. Neither of them noticed at first when a gang of children, led by the sixteen year olds, Lance and Leroy, gathered around them. Then the jeering started.

"Noir and Moon up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Blushing furiously, Howard released Vince's hand abruptly and pushed him away – too hard. Vince stared up at Howard, surprised and hurt. The gang laughed. Howard gave Vince a stricken look; then shoved through the bullies and fled.

**o - o **

No. How could I? How could...?

'**Howard**, **don**'**t** **start**.'

It wasn't his fault. It was me. I left him. And all because of some stupid... I left him.

'**He was fine**.'

Was he?

'**Go forward**; **then get the hell out**.'

**o - o **

Next day, Howard waited at the gate with more trepidation than usual. Suppose Vince just walked straight by him and sat next to someone else in class? Or worse, suppose he growled at Howard or hissed? The thought that he might have lost his best friend, annoying as Vince could be sometimes, was almost making him cry. But Howard T. J. Moon did not cry, Sir. It was well... unmanly.

"Hi, Howard."

He jumped; then met the bright blue gaze of the child, now standing in front of him. Vince grinned widely and Howard smiled back awkwardly.

"You okay?" asked Vince.

"Yeah," said Howard. "You done your homework?"

Vince pouted.

"I hate Maths. What IS the point?"

Howard took a breath and began to lecture.

"Maths is important, little man."

The bell rang and Howard took his friend's arm.

"Come on. We'll go over this at break."

Vince groaned.

"Maybe I should start a homework club," Howard enthused, dragging Vince to their line. "For after school. I'll speak to Mr Brunt."

**o - o **

What! I upset Vince. I saw his eyes after I... And yet we're both acting as if... it NEVER happened. There's no apology, no explanation, NOTHING!

'**So**?'

The least I could have done was...

Howard was distracted by an invisible finger brushing along his moustache. Automatically, he told Vince off. There was a fit of giggles in response.

_Sorry_, _Howard_. _How's this_?

A tongue lapped his cheek and Howard was too startled to protest. The tongue found his other cheek; then his nose, his chin, forehead.

Vince! You... you...daft pup. Stop it.

_Oh_, _Howard_. _It_'_s_ _a leopard kiss_.

That may well be, Sir. Carry on and I'll... Listen, Vince.

_YOU started this_.

Yes, but this isn't really... Let's just leave each other alone for now.

_Oh_. Vince sounded disappointed. _Oh_. _Okay_.

We'll discuss everything in the morning, Kitten. When we can see each other.

_Howard_...

And touch too.

Vince stretched out both hands and imagined that they were once more placed on that beautiful, broad chest. Howard gave a surprised grunt. Shy fingers began to explore, circulating, tapping, testing.

_Promise_?

I promise, little man.

_You know me_. _I need to know you_.

I understand, Vince. Just don't lick me, okay?

_But you_'_re_ _so yummy_.

Get too carried away and I'll tickle you, Sir.

_Relax_, _will you_? _Now_...

Howard waited for his friend's next move, but nothing happened. He concentrated on the screen again. The teen Vince and Howard sat together in class as usual, but when Vince tried to hold hands, Howard muttered, "Don't touch me." Those innocent, sparkling eyes changed immediately to hurt and confusion. "Sorry," Vince whispered.

_Howard_. _HOWard_. _HOWARD_. _Right_!

Vince psy-slapped the beloved cheek; then placed his hands gently over the maverick's horrified eyes.

Oh, Vince. I'm so sorry.

_Stop it._ _You_'_re_ doing _what you told me not to_.

Vince...

_That_'_s_ _the past_, _Howard_. _It doesn_'_t_ _matter_.

But it does. Vince, you have to understand.

_I do_.

No. You didn't do anything, Vince. The fact is... I'm a coward. I didn't stand up for you. I hurt you instead.

_Howard_. _Shut_. _Up_.

The severity in Vince's tone was startling. Howard ceased apologising.

_Good_. Now, _you were right before_. _We need to LOOK at each other_. _Howard_, _I know you won't believe me_, _but_... you _take better care of me than anyone_. _I_'_m_ _rubbish at_ _taking care of you_, _but I try to_. _Because I love you_.

Vince...

_Shut_. _Up_.

No. First, you're not rubbish at caring. Second, I love you too. And third, GET back in time out.

_Told you I_'_d_ _figure it out_. _I_'_ll go back when you do_.

Fine. Let me see.

_Okay_, _but you leave immediately_. _With ME_.

The slender hands came off and Howard checked the screen. Teen Vince was doodling in his Geography book, a smile back on his face. Teen Howard was concentrating on copying facts about the Arctic Tundra.

_Howard_, _come on_!

There was an ineffectual tugging at his arms.

_HOWARD!_

**o - o **

"Vincent Noir," said a very cold voice. "WHAT is this?"

Vince and Howard both looked up.

"Get on with your work, Moon," Mrs Fray warned.

**o - o **

There was a click and the screen paused.

_NOW_, _you freak_.

Did you just press?

_Yes_.

Oh. Right. I'm with you.

Howard got up and his hand was instantly taken. He made no resistance as he was guided back to his Jazz zone, Vince scolding all the way. The Noir was startled when Howard abruptly pulled free and made a scooping motion.

_Hey_!

Vince was helpless in midair. Howard laughed.

_Howard_...?

I win this, little man. I WIN. And you're mine.

Confidently, Howard walked forward and Vince, to his alarm, floated.

_Hey_! _You can't just_... _Howard_, _you_'_ll_ _drop me_. _Help_.

I don't think I will, Kitten.

_I am so gonna get you_.

I look forward to it. Here we are.

_And_, _Howard_, _you_'_re_ _MINE_.

We're each others. Now...

To Vince's disbelief, he was laid accurately in the hammock.

_How_? _How_? _How_?

Howard Moon moves in mysterious ways, my Mowgli.

_Howard_, _I love you and all_, _but never do that again_.

I'll see you later.

_Grrrrrrrrr_. He was kissed on the nose. _Prrrrrrrrrrr_.

Knew you couldn't stay mad.

_Bumberklaat_. Vince leopard kissed in return. _Got ya_.

Tit.

_You_'_re_ _welcome_.

Both unanimously cut the link and smiled. Maybe they were not entirely sure where life was taking them, but they knew that despite all the arguments, the disappointments, the bizarre encounters; a song, a smile, a touch, a look – could heal in an instant. Vince purred; Howard scatted. Both hoped.


End file.
